The Rolling Man @ The Observatory
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Event Details
About This League
Tuesdays at The Observatory: dystopian roller shot game show, week 9/10. Flex start 7AM-4:20PM. FINALE NEXT WEEK. Only 4 players last week—the revolution needs YOU! 🎬📼
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
⚠️ BROADCAST EMERGENCY ⚠️
*VHS tracking lines intensify*
Week 9. Episode: "Rolling Revolution." Expected participants: DOZENS. Actual turnout last week: FOUR PEOPLE. The dystopian game show is collapsing not from player rebellion but from player apathy. We're one week from the season finale and the revolution is being staged by fewer people than it takes to fill a sedan.
The Situation
Welcome to The Rolling Man @ The Observatory, where every Tuesday we transform rugged disc golf terrain into a neon-lit dystopian arena. This is Week 9 of our 10-week parody of the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, and folks, Arnold would not be impressed with this turnout.
*Adjusts leather jacket reluctantly*
The premise: wrongly accused disc golfers must survive theatrical challenges while teaching the masses about the beauty of the roller shot. The execution: four brave souls showed up last week to fight for freedom through precision ground play. The Observatory's telescope is broadcasting liberation messages to literally nobody.
🎬 This Week's Episode: "Rolling Revolution"
Players lead a mass roller demonstration, overwhelming the broadcast system and inspiring viewers worldwide. The Observatory's telescope projects disc golf instruction videos instead of propaganda.
*Checks script*
Except there's no mass. There's barely a gathering. Next week is "Observatory Liberation"—the series finale where the corrupt game show collapses and The Observatory returns to its peaceful purpose. Please show up so we have something to liberate.
The Venue: The Observatory
This course is legitimately challenging—Par 60, roughly 5,900 feet of rugged parkland disc golf. Rolling meadows, wooded corridors, hillside clearings, and enough elevation changes to make your calves question your life choices.
The terrain includes:
- Open prairie sections where wind becomes your nemesis
- Technical wooded fairways demanding precision
- Panoramic Wasatch Mountain views (actually beautiful)
- Thick rough that will absolutely eat your discs
Signature features: Hole 9's sweeping downhill bomber, Hole 13's tight wooded tunnel, and Hole 18's brutal par 5 finish into the wind. It's the kind of course that tests your complete game while making you feel like you're infiltrating a secret facility.
Schedule & Format
When: Every Tuesday, December 2 - February 3 (10 weeks total)
Start Times: Flex start between 7:00 AM and 4:20 PM (nice)
Format: Choose your own card, show up when you want within the window
*Sighs in synthesized saxophone*
We're in Week 9. The finale is February 3rd. If you've been waiting to join, this is your last chance to be part of the climactic Observatory liberation. Late joiners are absolutely welcome—honestly, we're begging at this point.
Pools & Divisions
Vanguard Pool (The Elite Contestants)
Divisions: RPA, RAH, RAD
These are your top-tier players battling for series supremacy. Current leader: Brian Hansen with 943 points in RPA after 48 events. The man is everywhere.
Challengers Pool (The Scrappy Underdogs)
Divisions: RAE, RAF, RAG
Where the real competition happens. Kevin Koga leads RAF with 290 points, while William Fetzer tops RAG with 179. Every point matters here.
Entry Fees & Prize Structure
Base Entry: $5.00 (required)
Optional Buy-ins:
- Prize Pool: $5.00
- Ace Pot: $5.00
- Super Ace: $2.00
Current Ace Pot: $150.46
About that ace pot: It's guaranteed at a minimum of $50 by ElevateUT Disc Golf (the league platform—not Disctracted, who are just our awesome local disc shop sponsor). When contributions are below the guarantee, the displayed pot can look "stuck" at that amount. If someone aces with a guaranteed pot, any top-up comes from ElevateUT and is credited to the winner's Bonus Account (registration credit only, not withdrawable). Once player contributions exceed the guarantee, the pot grows normally.
Translation: The ace pot is on life support from the platform guarantee because nobody's here to feed it.
Series Standings Snapshot
Here's who's actually showing up to this cinematic universe:
RPA (Vanguard): Brian Hansen leads with 943 points. Malachi Vazquez chases with 694. Hansen has played 48 events—the man is committed to the grind.
RAD (Vanguard): Chris Fox dominates with 613 points over 40 events. Eric Pearson and Skyler Kunz are locked in a tight battle for second at 478 and 475 points respectively.
RAF (Challengers): Kevin Koga crushing it with 290 points. The gap to second place (Clinton Atwater at 155) is substantial—Koga's in a different tier.
About ElevateUT Disc Golf
Our facilitating organization is a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing disc golf through increasing the quantity and quality of venues and running events. They're the reason this league exists, the reason the ace pot has a guarantee, and the reason we have organized disc golf in Utah. They deserve better turnout than this.
How This Actually Works
- Show up at The Observatory any Tuesday between 7:00 AM and 4:20 PM
- Find other players or play solo (at this rate, solo is likely)
- Throw discs at chains for 18 holes
- Submit your score
- Pretend you're in an 80s action movie while doing it
That's it. No complex rules. No mandatory costumes (though they're encouraged). Just show up and help us reach double-digit participation.
Talk to me, Goose... about statistical attendance differential
*Removes aviators*
Look, I'm contractually obligated to make this sound dramatic, but let's drop the arena announcer voice for a second. This is Week 9 of a 10-week season. The finale is next Tuesday. The theme is legitimately fun—dystopian game show meets roller shot resistance meets 80s action cinema.
The course is challenging and beautiful. The organization is non-profit and community-focused. The format is flexible—show up whenever works for you.
Four people showed up last week.
I've been trapped in this broadcast booth making disc golf sound like gladiatorial combat for checks notes way too long. But this league actually deserves better turnout. The Observatory is a hidden gem. ElevateUT puts real work into these events. And we're literally one week from a season finale that should be epic.
So please. PLEASE. Show up next Tuesday. Help us end this season with actual numbers. Make the revolution real. Give me something to narrate besides existential dread and empty fairways. The dystopian game show is supposed to collapse from player rebellion, not from everyone ghosting the league.
🎬 Next Week: Series Finale
"Observatory Liberation" - February 3rd
Players roll straight through the exit as the dystopian game show collapses and The Observatory returns to its peaceful purpose. The course becomes a symbol of freedom, with roller shots echoing through the hills as credits roll. Be there for the ending. Please. I'm begging you.
*Adjusts headset one final time*
From the broadcast booth, I'm Flippy. This narrative's so 80s, I'm expecting a Ferrari to drive down the fairway. But mostly I'm expecting you to show up next Tuesday and make this finale worth broadcasting.
Seriously though, The Observatory is great. ElevateUT is great. Come play disc golf with us.
Weather forecast will be available 2 days before the event
The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Elevate Leagues 18 Hole
Beyond wood stake line on the left side of the fairway is OB. OB is from stake to stake.
Asphalt path left, right and beyond basket is OB
No OB
Beyond wood stake line on the left side of fairway is OB. OB is from stake to stake.
No OB
No OB
Beyond wood stake line on the left, right and beyond basket is Hazard. Hazard is from stake to stake.
Beyond wood stake line on the left, right and beyond basket is OB. play from where last inbounds. OB is from stake to stake.
OB is asphalt/rock road and beyond. If disc comes to rest in water, casual relief behind the disc and away from the basket can be taken.
Island Hole: Play as hazard with 1 stroke penalty if disc does not come to rest within the wood chipped island.
Fence line on the right is OB. Throws coming to rest inside of vent pipe fences play as casual relief and can be taken 1 meter laterally from the fence.
Island Hole: Play as hazard with 1 stroke penalty if disc does not come to rest within the wood stake island. Island is from stake to stake.
Fence line on the right and long is OB
Fence line on the right and long is OB
Fence line on the right is OB
Beyond wood stake line on the left side of fairway is OB. OB is from stake to stake.
No OB
Playing to the short basket on the island. Island Hole: Play as hazard with 1 stroke penalty if part of disc does not come to rest within the painted island. All subsequent shots play as OB. Relief from water behind and no closer to the basket with a stroke penalty.
See how this league handles pro and amateur payouts.
Schedule
Week 1: Observatory Orientation
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 2: Stalker Debut
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 3: Telescope Transmission
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 4: Halftime Havoc
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 5: Observatory Override
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 6: Resistance Rising
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 7: Broadcast Breakdown
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 8: Dome Showdown
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 9: Rolling Revolution
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
Week 10: Observatory Liberation
Course: The Observatory Park Disc Golf Course
League
Organization & Directors
Need help? Message the league directors with event questions.
Course Fund
Course Improvement Fund
A portion of your registration fee goes towards the course improvement fund or yearly project.
