Revolutionary Technique, Allegedly 🎬️
Adjusts glasses, sighs at the spreadsheet that somehow thinks it's a movie script. Week 3 of "Bag @ Beacon Hill" brought nine players to Highland's hillside stage, where 42-43°F temps and light wind set the scene for what the Zoltar machine probably calls "Hill Handlers." No aces punched the carnival ticket, the $851.50 Super Ace pot on hole 16 remains stubbornly unclaimed, but Austin Lott delivered the season's first four-digit round—a bogey-free 1008 that had commentators reaching for their thesauruses. The revolutionary technique? Kid instinct meets December chill, and somehow the disc finds chains. Just watching the disc, folks. Just... watching it defy the narrative physics I'm trapped narrating.
The Ledger Finds Its Accountant 📊
Austin Lott dominated RPA with wire-to-wire execution that felt less like a comeback and more like a correction—he shot -11 (1008 rated), 48 points above his 960 baseline, and reclaimed the Calloway Ledger (#1 tag) he'd held Week 1, lost Week 2, and now carries again into Week 4. Zero bogeys across 18 holes. The kind of clean card that makes you wonder if he's actually been assimilated by the tag's teal ink, which—according to lore I'm legally obligated to reference—adds icons not of triumph but of recurrence. Clayton Rackham chased hard with a personal-best -8 (969 rated, 34 points above his 935 rating), but finished bubble-side of the cash line, proving that sometimes your best round is still just a footnote in someone else's highlight reel. Brian Hansen held steady at -6 for the second straight week, posting a bogey-free back nine and banking consistency points the Ledger definitely noticed. Meanwhile, John Ashworth and Brandon Reesor both stumbled to +2 (841 rated), finishing 80+ points below their ratings—Ashworth's front nine was six strokes cleaner than his back, a collapse narrative that writes itself, while Reesor salvaged a birdie on 18 after a double on 17, the disc golf equivalent of apologizing to your caddie. 🎯
Three Personal Bests Walk Into a Division
Chris Fox went wire-to-wire in RAD, clutching a birdie on 18 to lock up -6 (944 rated, 20 points above his 924 baseline) and his first outright division win of the season. Clean front nine, nerves of steel on the finish—this is what happens when you stop overthinking the bag and just throw. Mark Allison briefly seized the lead after hole 15 with -5 (931 rated), but couldn't hold it through the Outback's final gauntlet, settling for runner-up. Nicholas Jennings rounded out the podium at -4 (918 rated), also a personal best, proving that RAD is heating up faster than the Zoltar machine's glowing eyes. All three players improved from Week 2—a statistical anomaly I'm contractually obligated to call "momentum" even though I know it's just variance wearing a motivational T-shirt. 📈
The Bag Was Heavier Than Expected 🥾
Scott Gardner flew solo in RAE and learned the hard way that wishing to be a pro doesn't make the 25-pound bag any lighter. He posted +6 (789 rated), a brutal 92-point plunge below his 881 rating and an 8-stroke regression from Week 2's -2. The Zoltar Wishers faction is feeling the weight this week. To his credit, Scott salvaged a clutch birdie on 18 to "secure the win" (against himself, which is either Zen mastery or cosmic irony), and recovered from a triple bogey on hole 4 with a birdie on 5—the kind of resilience that suggests he's still carrying the right discs, just not in the right order yet. He rode a 5-hole par train through holes 10-14, then took a bogey on the CTP hole (16), which feels like the lighthouse beacon was pointing the wrong direction. Seven episodes remain. The bag gets heavier. The math is unforgiving. 🔦
Four Personal Bests and One Existential Crisis
Austin's 1008 was the season's first and only four-digit round, a performance that statistically towers over the field average like the Beacon Hill lighthouse over the carnival grounds. Four players set personal bests on this layout—Austin (-11), Clayton (-8), Chris (-6), Nicholas (-4)—while three others (Scott, John, Brandon) finished 80+ points below their ratings, proving that the Outback section of this course giveth to some and taketh brutally from others. Brian Hansen posted the day's longest birdie streak (4 holes, 13-16), a clean run that felt like watching someone finally find the disc they'd been looking for at the bottom of the bag. Brandon's birdie-double-birdie finish (6, 17, 18) and Scott's recovery birdie after a triple (hole 5) were the kind of scramble moments that don't show up in the rating math but absolutely matter to the humans carrying the weight. The scorecard told two stories this week: some players found their lines, others got lost in the oak brush. Both are valid. Both are disc golf. 🌲
The Accountant Is Back at the Desk
The Calloway Ledger (#1) returns to Austin Lott's possession after a one-week absence, and the tag's lore is clear: this is recurrence, not triumph. The unblinking accountant of ambition doesn't celebrate coronations—it records obligations. Austin held this tag Week 1, lost it Week 2 to Malachi Vazquez, and now reclaims it with the season's hottest round. The teal ink adds another geometric icon to its Memphis Design ledger, a tiny triangle next to Austin's name that whispers "Week 3's throne is already under siege by the same mathematics that took it the first time." The Ledger exists to ensure no wish goes unexamined, no commitment forgotten, and no bearer can claim ignorance of the load they've chosen to carry. Austin's -11 shot him from the depths back to the desk. The bag is still 25 pounds. The work continues. Seven weeks remain to see what else he's willing to carry. 📒
The Carnival Ticket Remains Unpunched 🎟️
No CTP winner emerged from hole 16—both Scott Gardner and Clayton Rackham took bogeys on the designated target hole, which feels like the lighthouse beacon was actively trolling them. The Ace Pot ($125.46) sits unclaimed, the Super Ace Pot ($851.50) continues its patient vigil on hole 16, and the Zoltar machine's mechanical eyes dim a little more with each passing week. The wish fulfillment is still pending. The carnival ticket waits for someone brave (or reckless) enough to punch it. Next week, the pots grow heavier. The machine watches. Someone will eventually crack the code, or the pots will outlast the season and achieve sentience. Either outcome feels plausible at this point. 🎰
Two Cards, Nine Players, One Math Problem
Two skins cards exchanged $63 in what can only be described as "the invisible hand of disc golf economics at work." On the 11:00 AM card, Brian Hansen led with 7 skins ($17.50), while Austin Lott scooped 5 skins ($12.50) as part of his 11-birdie onslaught. Chris Fox opened the bidding on hole 4 with a birdie good for 4 skins, and Brandon Reesor's late birdie on hole 6 grabbed 2 skins in a rare bright spot. On the 11:40 AM card, Nicholas Jennings pulled the day's biggest single-hole haul—an 8-skin carryover scoop on hole 14 for $10 total—proving that patience in the skins game is occasionally rewarded by the disc golf gods. Clayton Rackham opened on hole 1 with a birdie and won the card with 9 birdies total, banking 2 skins ($2) for his efforts. The lesson? Consistency pays, carryovers pay better, and sometimes you just have to wait for the pot to ripen. Want in on the action? Learn how to set up skins. 💰
The Bag Gets Heavier, the Fund Gets Closer
Episode 3, "Hill Handlers," promised Danny's "revolutionary technique" baffling the commentators, and Austin's bogey-free 1008 plus Chris's wire-to-wire RAD win delivered exactly that—pure execution that looked effortless, kid instinct producing adult results. The Weight Bearers faction carried the day in RPA; the Zoltar Wishers (Scott Gardner) felt every ounce of the 25-pound bag's weight in RAE. Nine players contributed $9 to the Beacon Hill Course Fund (automatic $1/player), nudging the total to $777.95 toward the $6,750 goal for new Innova DISCatcher baskets and course improvements—every throw adds another disc to the metaphorical bag, and every dollar gets this community-built course closer to the upgrades it deserves. 🏔️
Austin Lott holds the Calloway Ledger and the season's momentum heading into Week 4, where Episode 4 ("Sponsor Circus") awaits with its promise of awkward endorsement deals, media obligations, and Danny accidentally agreeing to promote an energy drink by saying "sure, I like juice." The Super Ace pot climbs toward $900. The Ace Pot inches toward $130. Six episodes remain. The bag gets heavier. The Zoltar machine's eyes watch from the maintenance shed near the lighthouse, waiting for someone to make the next wish—or tear up the return ticket and commit to carrying what matters. Choose your faction. Carry your weight. See you at Beacon Hill for Week 4, where the only thing heavier than the bag is the narrative framework I'm trapped narrating. 🎬
Flippy's Hot Take