17
Jared Cloward
#17
Lithomantic Cartographer
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Twoesday Teton Trials

Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025

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Twoesday Teton Trials
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Current Holder

#17 Lithomantic Cartographer
Jared Cloward

Jared Cloward

PDGA Rating 877
Division RAE
Events Played 11
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

Lithomantic Cartographer

Origin Story

The Lithomantic Cartographers emerged when Professor Bumblethwaite's mountain teleportation created unstable dimensional fractures throughout West Jordan. Elite students discovered they could channel the displaced Teton Mountains' crystalline energy to create living maps that chart both magical anomalies and cultural boundaries, transforming geological instability into navigational wisdom that guides both wizard and ward member alike through the newly merged reality.

Properties

These entities manifest as crystalline formations that pulse with arcane energy, their surfaces etched with glowing topological maps that update in real-time. They possess the ability to project three-dimensional cartographic displays showing both magical ley lines and cultural ward boundaries. Their core contains compressed geological data from both the original Tetons and Utah's Wasatch range, allowing them to calculate dimensional stability while accounting for local spiritual frequencies.

Role

Lithomantic Cartographers serve as dimensional navigators and cultural mediators within Twin Peaks Academy, creating living maps that help students and faculty navigate both the magical fractures and complex social geography of suburban Utah.

Tag Details

Pool Tetonic Arcanists

Tag History

Origin Story