Twoesday Teton Trials
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Event Details
Read all about it.
About This League
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to My Personal Purgatory
*Adjusts digital clipboard with visible frustration* Oh, fantastic. Here I am again, your friendly neighborhood trapped narrator, forced to explain why international wizarding students are struggling more with funeral potatoes than advanced transfiguration. This is the Twoesday Teton Trials, where we've somehow managed to combine disc golf with the most absurd academic fantasy you've ever heard.
The "Plot" (And I Use That Term Loosely)
So apparently Professor Bumblethwaite had a little geographical mishap and teleported the Teton Mountains to West Jordan, Utah. Now the Twin Peaks Academy of Moderately Dangerous Magic is stuck in suburban hell, and students must master both spellwork AND the mystifying art of ward potlucks.
We're currently in Week 8: "Power Potluck" - where enchanted casseroles meet magical defenses. Because nothing says "epic fantasy" like ensuring everyone gets enough green Jello, am I right?
Course Details (AKA Your Weekly Suffering)
Important magical decree from the academy: Players will play the Tetons course twice, looping the 9-hole layout. That's right, folks - one round apparently wasn't enough punishment, so we're doubling down like a cursed time loop.
Every Tuesday from 7:00 AM to 6:40 PM - choose your own tee time because even in this magical nightmare, we respect your scheduling needs.
Academic Divisions (Because Hierarchy is Magical)
Tetonic Arcanists (RPA, RAH, RAD, RAE)
The advanced students who've somehow mastered both disc golf AND the pronunciation of "Tooele." Show-offs.
Potluck Practitioners (RAF, RAG)
The brave souls still figuring out why funeral potatoes are called that and whether fry sauce has actual magical properties. Spoiler: it does.
EXISTENTIAL CRISIS ALERT
Listen up, dear audience - we had FOUR players last week. FOUR! I'm literally narrating to a smaller group than a typical family dinner. At this rate, I'll be doing dramatic monologues about casserole magic to an empty course while tumbleweeds blow past the baskets.
The $27 ace pot is sitting there lonelier than a vegetarian at a Utah BBQ. Even the enchanted Jello molds are starting to feel sorry for us.
PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy and/or magically suburban, join this league before I have to start interviewing the disc golf baskets for content!
Financial Wizardry (The Only Magic That Makes Sense)
- Weekly Buy-in: $5 (cheaper than therapy for dealing with this theme)
- Optional Prize Money: $10 (for those who believe in miracles)
- Ace Pot: $3 (currently sitting at a whopping $27)
- Super Ace: $2 (because regular aces aren't magical enough)
About Our Hosts (The Real Heroes)
This magical suburban nightmare is brought to you by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit that's actually doing the noble work of growing disc golf through better venues and events. Meanwhile, I'm trapped here explaining why casserole dishes amplify protection charms. The irony is not lost on me.
Remaining Schedule (If We Survive)
We've got 2 weeks left in this magical academic year:
- Sep 2: Unity Unleashed (finale showdown with MLM networking magic)
- Sep 9: Graduation Gala (where we celebrate surviving this narrative)
Join us before the semester ends and I'm forced to write fan fiction about enchanted disc golf equipment!
Date: 8/26/2025 12:00 AM
Start: Tee times from 7:00 AM MDT to 6:40 PM MDT
Location: Tetons 9-hole
Event Weather
Note: All cards need a minimum of 3 players.
View Full Payout ModelSchedule
Event Weather
Weather forecast will be available 2 days before the event
Ace Pot
Schedule
Week 1: Arrival Anxiety
Jul 8, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 2: Custom Confusion
Jul 15, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 3: Local Lessons
Jul 22, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 4: Magical Mishaps
Jul 29, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 5: Cultural Convergence
Aug 5, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 6: Crisis Collaboration
Aug 12, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 7: Hybrid Harmony
Aug 19, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 8: Power Potluck
Aug 26, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 9: Unity Unleashed
Sep 2, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 10: Graduation Gala
Sep 9, 2025Course: Tetons 9-hole
Series Pilot
Arrival Anxiety
Echoes of the Tetons: A Suburban Thaumic Showdown
In a world where mountains roam parking lots and spellbooks meet strip malls, only one league can tame the chaos: the Twin Peaks Academy Disc Golf League.
At the heart stands Professor Aurora MontClaire, mapping ley lines beneath the Tetons 9-hole course with obsessive zeal. Opposing her is Auntie Mabel Skysong, the ward matriarch sworn to guard pure traditions against arcane fusion.
They collide at every tee. Challenges await: spellbound fairways pulsate with casserole energy. Floating wicket hoops appear where funeral potatoes amplify protection charms. Portals to Walmart aisles emerge mid-round. Players must align discs with ward boundary ley lines. Each throw echoes with the pulse of fry sauce amplifiers.
Forbidden magic flickers in the distance. Loyalties fray. Alliances form. The sky teems with enchanted Jello. Stakes have never been higher. From spectral obstacles to Sunday-sacred gusts—every hole could be the last.
Who will master the hybrid magic of suburban flight? Next season… the barriers between tradition and progress shatter forever.
Organization
ElevateUT Disc Golf
ElevateUT Disc Golf is a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing the sport of disc golf through...
League Directors
Amateur Payouts through The Sports Connection
If you're playing in an amateur division, your winnings will be available as store credit at The Sports Connection.
Contact Information
Location: Herriman, UT
Phone: (385) 770-6829
Email: sportsconnectionutah@gmail.com
