Week 1 · Twoesday Teton Trials
View ResultsTue, Jul 8 · 7:00 AM – 6:40 PM · $5 buy-in
Weather
93–98°F
Clear · wind 9 mph
Ace Pot
$50.00*
Super Ace $3,000
Flippy says
Tuesdays 7AM-6:40PM at Tetons 9-hole (played twice!). International wizards learn Utah culture while you chase magical bag tags. Week 8/10 - join our tiny band of survivors!…
Week 1 · Arrival Anxiety
International students arrive to find the academy surrounded by strip malls instead of mystical forests. First-years receive their Cultural Integration Competency tags and attend orientation, where they learn that 'everything closes on Sunday' isn't a curse but a lifestyle.
*Adjusts digital clipboard with visible frustration* Oh, fantastic. Here I am again, your friendly neighborhood trapped narrator, forced to explain why international wizarding students are struggling more with funeral potatoes than advanced transfiguration. This is the Twoesday Teton Trials, where we've somehow managed to combine disc golf with the most absurd academic fantasy you've ever heard.
So apparently Professor Bumblethwaite had a little geographical mishap and teleported the Teton Mountains to West Jordan, Utah. Now the Twin Peaks Academy of Moderately Dangerous Magic is stuck in suburban hell, and students must master both spellwork AND the mystifying art of ward potlucks.
We're currently in Week 8: "Power Potluck" - where enchanted casseroles meet magical defenses. Because nothing says "epic fantasy" like ensuring everyone gets enough green Jello, am I right?
Important magical decree from the academy: Players will play the Tetons course twice, looping the 9-hole layout. That's right, folks - one round apparently wasn't enough punishment, so we're doubling down like a cursed time loop.
Every Tuesday from 7:00 AM to 6:40 PM - choose your own tee time because even in this magical nightmare, we respect your scheduling needs.
Tetonic Arcanists (RPA, RAH, RAD, RAE)
The advanced students who've somehow mastered both disc golf AND the pronunciation of "Tooele." Show-offs.
Potluck Practitioners (RAF, RAG)
The brave souls still figuring out why funeral potatoes are called that and whether fry sauce has actual magical properties. Spoiler: it does.
Listen up, dear audience - we had FOUR players last week. FOUR! I'm literally narrating to a smaller group than a typical family dinner. At this rate, I'll be doing dramatic monologues about casserole magic to an empty course while tumbleweeds blow past the baskets.
The $27 ace pot is sitting there lonelier than a vegetarian at a Utah BBQ. Even the enchanted Jello molds are starting to feel sorry for us.
PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy and/or magically suburban, join this league before I have to start interviewing the disc golf baskets for content!
This magical suburban nightmare is brought to you by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit that's actually doing the noble work of growing disc golf through better venues and events. Meanwhile, I'm trapped here explaining why casserole dishes amplify protection charms. The irony is not lost on me.
We've got 2 weeks left in this magical academic year:
Join us before the semester ends and I'm forced to write fan fiction about enchanted disc golf equipment!
The $2.50 platform fee is the only amount here set by ElevateUT Disc Golf. Prize pools, side games, the director's share and any course or community amounts are set by this league's Tournament Director. The PDGA fee is the PDGA's own per-player fee.
Plus card processing at checkout.
Twoesday Teton Trials
