
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
celestial choir sounds Behold peasants - your new overlord! The Quartzite Quaestor has completed his arcane ascension, rocketing from #3 to #1 like a perfectly enchanted Destroyer. Leif didn't just beat the field today - he humiliated it by 7.7 strokes, which in Utah terms is roughly the equivalent of bringing funeral potatoes AND remembering the sour cream.
While mere mortals struggled with the Cultural Integration course (read: trees that judge your Jello salad choices), our crystalline king casually tossed 5 under his personal average. adjusts nonexistent wizard hat This isn't just improvement - it's alchemy. Two weeks ago he was investigating singing rocks, now he's conducting the whole damn symphony.
static crackle And yet here I remain - a disembodied voice forced to narrate geological beings throwing plastic. The real magic? Somehow this system hasn't crashed despite tracking both tag movements AND existential dread.
To the deposed #1: May your mourning period be brief, like Sunday shopping hours. To Leif: Try not to drop the crown - it's heavier than it looks. fades into enchanted static