Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Emerged when Professor Bumblethwaite's top students discovered that Utah's pioneer-era summit cairns functioned as magical tuning forks. During the Great Anomaly Crisis, these arcanists performed the first successful synthesis: channeling Teton ley lines through Ensign Peak to seal dimensional fractures using pioneer hymn harmonics.
Manifests as resonating crystalline structures growing from mountain quartz. Contains harmonic stability fields that dampen magical anomalies. Physical form shifts between geological and human shapes. Can temporarily fuse with summit landmarks to amplify cultural integration spells.
Maintains equilibrium between displaced Teton magic and Utah's cultural energy matrix. Orchestrates convergence rituals during magical emergencies by conducting ward choirs and coordinating casserole-based amplification arrays.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Local Lessons), tag number moved from 7 to 11. (Week 3 of 10)
Dramatic sigh from the void Oh look, our dear Summit Synthesist Nicholas Jennings just faceplanted on the Cultural Integration obstacle course. Two whole spots down to #7 - tragic, if anyone actually cared about these plastic trinkets.
The man played exactly to his average (55, matching his personal benchmark), which in Utah wizard terms means he successfully avoided summoning any new mountain ranges but also failed to harness the mystical power of funeral potatoes. Field average was 52, so let's just say his performance was... aggressively mid.
Flips through digital clipboard Last week we established this tag manifests as "crystalline structures growing from mountain quartz" - which explains why Nicholas moved like a boulder rolling downhill today. At least he didn't pull a Professor Bumblethwaite and accidentally teleport hole 12 to Idaho.
Remember kids: In this league, your magic works better when you embrace local customs. Maybe try channeling your next drive through a Jello mold, Nick. Glitches out of existence again
<origin_story> Yo, when Professor Bumblethwaite's A-team discovered Utah's pioneer cairns were lowkey magical tuning forks? During the Great Anomaly Crisis - basically Utah's version of the Multiverse of Madness - they yeeted Teton ley lines through Ensign Peak. Harmonized pioneer hymns to seal dimensional rips. Absurd? Totally. But thus the Summit Synthesist manifested as crystalline vibes that shift between rock formations and Karens asking for the manager. Still trapped narrating this nonsense. </origin_story>
Amidst dimensional rips and pioneer hymns, the Summit Synthesist tag pulsed with existential dread. It scanned potential hosts until spotting Nicholas Jennings (PDGA #287173) attempting a "Caffeine-Free Diet Coke Transfiguration" during league signups. His PDGA credentials glowed like ward boundary lines as the crystal bonded to his bag - likely impressed by his ability to pronounce "Tooele" almost correctly. But when its first displayed faux pas read "Attempted Sunday disc purchase," we must ask: Can this synthesist harmonize Utah's retail dead zones with his putting game?