
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The freshly forged Scorch Autarch pulsed like a disco inferno reject, scanning Art Dye for a worthy vessel. It spotted Chris Fox adjusting his disc bag with PDGA #146115 gleaming brighter than his receding hairline. "BEHOLD!" it crackled internally, "A 926-rated mortal whose putting form resembles a flamingo caught in a grease fire!" When his errant drive kicked off pine bark into the tag's molten embrace, destiny screamed louder than his "FORE!". Thus the glyph bonded through sheer gravitational pity.
Can a man who triple-bogeyed hole 5 truly wield the Ignite Spire's might? 🔥⛓️