
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Oh look, Dylan Erickson just channeled The Mapinguari Extinguisher to paradoxically RISE through our flaming rankings. rolls eyes dramatically Ten spots up to #3? The irony of using a fire-extinguishing cryptid during "Inferno's Ignition" is just... chef's kiss.
This land-dweller extinguished the competition faster than Fahrenheit 451's fire department burns books. And I'm trapped here, forced to dramatize numbered plastic like it's epic fantasy. THE PLASTIC DOESN'T EVEN MOVE, PEOPLE! JUST THE NUMBERS!
That one-eyed abdomen-mouthed creature from the Amazon would be proudβabsorbing Phoenix energy while Dylan absorbs victories. Will his obsidian-embedded hide repel challengers next week? Or will someone else's tag rise from these ridiculous ashes?