Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE style
High ConceptAmazonian Guardian Who Eats Sacred Flames
TroubleHates Fire More Than OB
Mouth Full of Extinguished DreamsNine Feet of Forest GrudgeThe Chains Feel Colder
The Mapinguari was once a guardian of the Amazon rainforest who witnessed the devastating aftermath of a previous Phoenix rebirth cycle that scorched vast regions of its homeland. Discovered in the charred remains of an ancient temple by Zephyr Shadowcloak, the creature's natural resistance to fire was enhanced through ancient rituals that transformed it into the perfect counter to Phoenix energy. Its hatred of unchecked flames and commitment to preventing further destruction made it a willing and formidable ally of the Obsidian Sentinels.
The Mapinguari Extinguisher possesses an internal chamber that can absorb and neutralize Phoenix energy, drawing flames into the mouth in its abdomen where they're extinguished by a mysterious dark substance. Its thick, fireproof hide is embedded with obsidian shards that resonate with and disrupt the frequency of Phoenix flames, creating zones of cold darkness wherever it travels. The creature's single eye can detect Phoenix energy across vast distances, allowing it to track and intercept the Ashen Pilgrims before they can reach sacred sites crucial to the rebirth cycle.
The Mapinguari Extinguisher serves as an elite operative for the Obsidian Sentinels, deployed at critical junctures to intercept the Ashen Pilgrims and extinguish sacred flames that would guide them to the Phoenix's nesting sites. It acts as a direct counter to fire-based entities within the Ashen Pilgrims' ranks, creating strategic dead zones where Phoenix energy cannot accumulate and thus preventing the critical mass needed for rebirth.
Season Story
narrated by Flippy
Played
Week 8
#4 #3
Dramatic slow-mo of a disc hitting chains Well slap my pixels and call me glitchy - Dylan "The Human Fire Extinguisher" Erickson just burned his way up to tag #3! Mockumentary zoom "Here we see the rare Mapinguari actually doing its job - extinguishing higher-ranked players instead of just lurking menacingly."
Flips through stained-glass PowerPoint With a score 1.5 below field average (-5.8 vs personal, but who's counting?), our obsidian-clad guardian finally remembered he's supposed to STOP fires, not BE one. Breaks fourth wall Yes folks, we're calling -1.5 "dominance" now - this software's standards have hit rock bottom.
Terrible pun alert Guess you could say he really... turned the heat up on the competition? Groans at own joke The prophecy foretold a sacrifice, and apparently it was everyone else's dignity.
Flashback to last week Remember when I said you clung to #4 like bad body odor? Well color me shocked - you upgraded to premium cologne! Now go extinguish #2 before I'm forced to write more of these flaming hot takes.
Final whisper The Phoenix rises... and so do Dylan's delusions of grandeur.
Played
Week 7
#8 #4
Cue dramatic flaming bird squawk Well butter my bag and call me a biscuit - Dylan "The Extinguisher" Erickson just pulled a full Phoenix rebirth on us! Dramatic slow-mo replay From tag #8 to #4 in one fiery swoop, proving even obsidian-clad cryptids can have their day.
Mock documentary voice "Here we observe the rare Mapinguari in its natural habitat: actually improving." While mere mortals averaged 58, our fireproof friend shot a 61 - which math nerds will note is better than his usual 62. Breaks fourth wall Yes folks, we're celebrating a -1 differential like it's the birth of Christ.
Pulls out stained-glass PowerPoint This tag's origin story as an Amazonian flame-hater makes this ascent poetic - rising through ranks like smoke through a chimney. Terrible pun alert Guess you could say he really... turned up the heat? Groans internally at own joke
Flashback to last week's koala commentary Remember when I said you clung to #8 like bad body odor? Well color me shocked - you finally bathed in glory! Now go extinguish some higher-ranked players before I'm forced to write more of these absurd analogies.
Final dramatic whisper The prophecy foretold a sacrifice... but nobody said it couldn't be your opponents' dignity.
Played
Week 6
#8 #8
Sigh Another week, another dramatic non-movement from our resident fire extinguisher. Dylan Erickson continues to cling to tag #8 like a koala to a eucalyptus, proving that sometimes the most exciting defense is... not moving at all.
In this week's episode of "As the Plastic Turns," our one-eyed Amazonian guardian held steady while the rest of you plebs flailed around him. His score? Perfectly average. His position? Unchanged. My will to live? Dramatically checks notes Also unchanged.
The Mapinguari's obsidian hide must be working overtime - repelling challengers like a bouncer at a club where the music is just slightly too loud. Remember when this fireproof cryptid was rising through the ranks? Flashback to previous commentary Yeah, me neither.
Breaks fourth wall You realize we're basically narrating a screensaver, right? The tags don't even physically move! Returns to character Anyway, Dylan's performance was... fine. Like microwave pizza fine. Not great, not terrible - just perfectly adequate to maintain his position in this fiery hierarchy.
Will our extinguisher finally get extinguished next week? Or will he continue to be the human equivalent of that one slightly warm ember that just won't die out? Stay tuned for more "Disc Golf: The Dramatization of Numbers Nobody Actually Cares About."
Field drift
#6 #8
Due to absence from Week 5 (Pyre's Purification), tag number moved from 6 to 8. (Week 5 of 8)
Field drift
Week 4
#6 #6
You missed this event! Come back next week to move back into contention.
Played
Week 2
#13 #3
Oh look, <strong>Dylan Erickson</strong> just channeled <em>The Mapinguari Extinguisher</em> to paradoxically RISE through our flaming rankings. rolls eyes dramatically Ten spots up to #3? The irony of using a fire-extinguishing cryptid during "Inferno's Ignition" is just... chef's kiss.
This land-dweller extinguished the competition faster than Fahrenheit 451's fire department burns books. And I'm trapped here, forced to dramatize numbered plastic like it's epic fantasy. THE PLASTIC DOESN'T EVEN MOVE, PEOPLE! JUST THE NUMBERS!
That one-eyed abdomen-mouthed creature from the Amazon would be proud—absorbing Phoenix energy while Dylan absorbs victories. Will his obsidian-embedded hide repel challengers next week? Or will someone else's tag rise from these ridiculous ashes?
See where Dylan Erickson sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
