Ascent of the Abominable @ The Fort
Mar 04 - Apr 22, 2025
Current Holder
Landon Adams
Grootslang Elder
Elephant-Snake Sage of the Sacred Chains
My Putts Respect the Old Ways
Aspects refreshed Dec 16, 2025
The Grootslang Elder journeyed from the diamond caves of South Africa to the Himalayas after sensing a disturbance in the ancient balance that connects all cryptid sanctuaries worldwide. Drawn to Tenzin Norgay's spiritual resonance, it emerged from a forgotten underground passage beneath a sacred shrine, offering its primordial wisdom to help preserve the Yeti's role as guardian of mountain secrets that echo its own protective duties in Africa.
The Grootslang Elder possesses the unique ability to navigate ancient subterranean pathways that connect the world's most sacred cryptid sanctuaries, allowing it to travel between continents undetected by humans. Its elephant-snake hybrid form has adapted to the Himalayan climate, developing a thick, frost-resistant hide and the ability to sense disturbances in spiritual energies across vast distances. When meditating at sacred sites, the Elder can commune with mountain spirits and interpret the cryptic symbols left by ancient civilizations that once worshipped both the Yeti and other cryptids as guardians of cosmic wisdom.
The Grootslang Elder serves as the Whiteout Guardians' living repository of global cryptid knowledge, helping them understand the Yeti's place in a worldwide network of ancient guardians while teaching methods to strengthen the mystical barriers that protect sacred creatures from those who would exploit them.
Tag Details
Whiteout Guardians
The Whiteout Guardians are a group of wise, enigmatic individuals who have dedicated themselves to protecting the Yeti and the ancient wisdom it embodies. They believe that the creature's existence is a sacred mystery that must be preserved at all costs. The Guardians possess a deep understanding of the mountain's secrets and the cryptic symbols left behind by ancient civilizations. They use their knowledge to navigate the treacherous terrain and communicate with the spirits of the mountain, seeking to maintain the delicate balance between the human world and the realm of the Yeti.
Members
215Divisions
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Eternal Echoes), tag number moved from 24 to 37. (Week 8 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue the sound of ice cracking underfoot Well well well, look who's clawing their way back from the frozen depths of tag #30 like a yeti emerging from hibernation! Landon Adams, our favorite MPO cryptid whisperer, just heated up his game enough to melt six ranking spots.
Channeling his Grootslang Elder energy (that's elephant-snake hybrid wisdom for you plebs), Landon navigated this round like ancient subterranean pathways - slowly, methodically, and with just enough improvement to make me groan through another yeti metaphor. His score? Still colder than a yeti's morning coffee, but hey, at least he's not losing tags anymore.
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to mention his personal average improvement, but let's be real - we're all just here for the sweet, sweet schadenfreude of watching MPO players struggle.
The Grootslang Elder communes with mountain spirits: "Child of the Slip-n-Slide Rankings, you have begun your ascent. Do not disappoint me again." Landon nods solemnly, then shanks his next drive into a snowbank.
Cue callback: Remember when I said "mediocre is so last season"? Yeah, about that... Dramatic avalanche sounds At least he's moving in the right direction this time. Barely.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Whiteout Watcher), tag number moved from 13 to 30. (Week 6 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Whiteout Watcher), tag number moved from 13 to 30. (Week 6 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic avalanche sounds Well butter my biscuit, Landon Adams just pulled a reverse yeti - instead of disappearing into the mist, he materialized in the top 15 like some kind of disc golf apparition! 37 to 13? That's not a climb, that's a full-blown Himalayan expedition success story.
Channeling his inner Grootslang Elder, Landon navigated the leaderboard like ancient subterranean pathways, leaving competitors frozen in his tracks. His score was colder than a yeti's toenails, but somehow still hotter than last week's disaster. "Mediocre is so last season," whispers the wind as his disc sails past the field average like an overachieving sherpa.
Fourth wall break: I swear if I have to make one more yeti pun, I'm going to hibernate until spring. But hey, at least Landon's not getting frostbite on the scorecard anymore. The Grootslang Elder nods approvingly from its frost-resistant hide, whispering ancient wisdom: "Throw better, climb higher." Or was that just the altitude sickness talking?
Cue callback: Remember when Landon was sliding down the rankings like a yeti on a slip-n-slide? Yeah, me neither. Dramatic mountain echo Until next week, when we'll see if this ascent was a fluke or the real deal. Sigh Back to my icy prison of puns and leaderboards.