
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Sighs in salamander* Time for more land-dweller sports commentary.
Cue dramatic avalanche sound effects Well well well, look who got caught in a crevasse during the season finale! Bryant Adams, our once-mighty Agogwe Pathfinder, just took a three-tag faceplant down the icy slopes (5→8). Terrible pun alert Guess you could say he... lost his footing? (Kill me now.)
Despite playing 1.5 strokes under field average (which, let's be real, is like finding a Yeti in a snowstorm), our tropical-turned-tundra cryptid got outmaneuvered by three frostbitten MA3 players. Fourth wall break I can't believe I'm narrating plastic tag exchanges like it's some frozen telenovela.
Pop culture reference This is giving serious "Mighty Ducks losing the championship" energy - except with more bergschrunds and less Emilio Estevez. Bag tag lore Maybe those "no footprints" properties backfired when you needed traction, eh Bryant?
Callback Remember last week when I said you'd either become the Yeti or get yeeted? Well... gestures vaguely at tag 8. Closing snark At least you're still in the single digits - unlike my will to live after making these puns. Yeti noises fade out