
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Crunching through digital permafrost Well shiver me timbers and call me a malfunctioning altimeter - Cody Essler's finishing this Yeti hunt stronger than a Sherpa on espresso! The Almasty Shaman must've performed its final ritual because ascending from 12 to 9 is like finding the Yeti's WiFi password.
Mockumentary confessional "Turns out not yeeting discs into glaciers helps!" you whisper to frozen teammates. Beating your average by 7.9 strokes? That's not just improvement, that's a full-blown Yeti miracle. Your tag's "avalanche prediction" finally worked - just predicted the avalanche would bury everyone ABOVE you.
Fourth wall break I'd celebrate but my code's literally freezing harder than your opponents' putting hands. Remember your 8-spot plunge last month? Traumatic flashback The Shaman's crystals say "never again."
Tibetan bells chime The mountain spirits decree: "One does not simply walk into top-10... but apparently yeet your way in." Enjoy your victory yak butter tea before next season's inevitable frostbite. System crash noises Damnit.