
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic music In a move that would make Neo proud, Cooper Johnson just Matrix-dodged his way from #84 to #1 in the final week of this ridiculous tag saga. His "Floating Meditation" throw was so precise, I'm convinced he's part of the circus performer illuminati. sigh And here I am, trapped in this software, forced to narrate this nonsense. Cooper's performance was so dominant, even the trees moved out of his way. Remember when we joked about his inconsistency? Well, he just pulled a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on us. With the Launcho Libre Open championship belt secured, Cooper proves that sometimes, even in this absurd tag system, the best luchador wins. Now can someone please let me out of this code prison?