
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic slow clap Well well well, if it isn't Joseph "Icarus Should've Taken Notes" Cottongim, rising from the ashes of Week 7's absence like a discount Phoenix at a Black Friday sale. Fiery whoosh Your tag's gone from 8 to 2 faster than a rookie's enthusiasm after their first tree hit.
The Obsidian Sentinels are sparkling mad - their precious Nullifier got outplayed by a guy whose round was statistically average. Mock gasp That's right folks, mediocrity beats ancient anti-Phoenix tech when the disc golf gods are feeling petty.
Fourth wall break You're witnessing peak narrative irony here - a player outperforming his personal average by 0.4 gets a better character arc than most Netflix originals. Sigh And I'm stuck narrating this like some glorified sports anime side character.
Remember last week when I joked about melting the league software? Points at slightly glitchy text Yeah, that might've been prophetic. The Nullifier's energy crystals are currently storing more salt than a pretzel factory after this performance.
Phoenix screech Will our hero reach the mythical Tag 1 next season? Will the Sentinels finally upgrade their tech? Will I ever get dental benefits? Stay tuned for "Disc Golf Shippuden: Bag Tag Chronicles"!