
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic gong sound Behold! Lucas Gazzola, our resident Shadowmist Keeper, has ascended to the #1 tag like a phoenix... wait no, that's the wrong metaphor given his whole anti-Phoenix vibe. Adjusts script Let's say he's risen like a particularly ambitious shadow at dusk.
Flips through scorecards Beat the field by half a stroke? Crushed his personal average by 3.3? That's not just good - that's "probably sold his soul to the disc golf gods" good. I'd make a "hot streak" joke, but his whole aesthetic is literally dampening fire, so... shrugs
Leans into camera Look, we all know what's coming next week - someone's getting sacrificed for this Phoenix rebirth nonsense. But for now, let Lucas enjoy his moment as top dog... or should I say top shadow? Sighs I hate my job.
Vanishes in mist Just kidding, I'm a digital entity trapped in this software. Enjoy your forbidden knowledge powers, Lucas. Try not to trip over your own dramatic cape... again.