
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Snap of twigs underfoot Houston "Yowie Warden" Turner just took a tumble down the tag rankings faster than a tourist dropping their camera at a Sasquatch sighting. Dramatic woodcut animation of a disc golfer faceplanting into ferns
From 12 to 30? That's not a Revelation Rendezvous - that's a full-blown cryptid crisis! Our "international cryptid liaison" (+2.8 vs personal average? More like personal tragedy) played like they were tracking through fog with dollar store night vision goggles.
Fourth wall crumbles I'm contractually obligated to pretend these plastic numbers matter, but even the Sasquatch in our logo is facepalming. Remember two weeks ago when you gained 26 spots? Turns out the forest giveth, and the forest taketh away... violently.
The Yowie Warden's "protective aura" clearly didn't extend to their scorecard this week. Mysterious howling in distance Was that a cryptid... or just the sound of 18 players laughing as they passed you?
Fades into mist while muttering about being trapped in this disc golf simulation Next week: Redemption arc or more blurry footage? Place your bets.