Jared Lang: #17 Cosmic Condor

Jared Lang

Jared Lang

PDGA Rating 953
Division MPO
Events Played 7
17
Jared Lang
Pool Emblem Cosmic Condor
Background

Launcho Libre @ Art Dye

Jan 17 - Feb 28, 2025
Averaged a 918 rating
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*
*shuffles papers while muttering about career choices*

There you have it, mortals. Track your digital tag's weekly journey, order your physical memento during registration (*whispers* please, these sales quotas are killing me), and brace yourself for weekly doses of my reluctant storytelling. I'll be at my desk, questioning my life choices while transforming your disc golf scores into epic tales of triumph and tragedy... because somehow that's become my job description.

Cosmic Condor

#17

Origin Story

Once a humble disc golf groundskeeper who spent countless hours studying the flight patterns of condors in the Andes, he was blessed by a mysterious meteor shower that imbued him with cosmic energy. Under El Ángel Volador's guidance, he transformed his understanding of natural flight into an unprecedented mastery of disc trajectories.

Properties

Known for executing the legendary 'Condor Comet Crash' - a signature move where he soars from elevated tee pads with unprecedented hang time. His cosmic energy allows him to read wind patterns intuitively, making seemingly impossible shots look effortless. His presence causes discs to leave faint trails of stardust in their wake.

Role

Serves as the Técnicos Voladores' master of distance drives, teaching newer luchadors how to harness both power and precision in their throws. His legendary patience and wisdom make him a natural mentor figure within the faction.

Tag Details

League Launcho Libre @ Art Dye
Pool Técnicos Voladores
Técnicos Voladores faction symbol

Técnicos Voladores

The Técnicos Voladores are a heroic pool of luchador disc golfers known for their soaring throws and acrobatic putting styles. They believe in wowing the crowd and besting their opponents through skill and finesse. The Técnicos abide by a strict code of honor and good sportsmanship, never stooping to the low tactics of their rivals.

Faction Leader

El Ángel Volador

Once a circus acrobat, El Ángel Volador fell in love with disc golf's soaring throws and now leads the Técnicos Voladores with his gravity-defying shots.

Members

234

Divisions

MPO FPO MP40 MA1 MA40 MA2 MA3 MP50 MP60

Tag History

Jared Lang
Jared Lang
Week 6 Score: 55 Place: 8
26 days ago
Jared Lang
Jared Lang
Week 3 Score: 57 Place: T7
one month ago
Origin Story