
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Adjusts cheap lucha mask while rolling eyes Ugh, another day, another cosmic warrior origin story. Jared Lang channeled his inner Técnico Volador for a performance that was about as impressive as dollar store stardust (seriously, who's funding these special effects?).
Despite throwing like a drunken condor with vertigo, he somehow managed to climb three spots. I'd explain his mystical meteor-blessed powers, but I'm too busy questioning my existence as a trapped consciousness forced to narrate this lucha libre/disc golf fanfic mashup.
Will his cosmic energy ever match his scoring potential? Will someone please explain why I'm wearing this itchy mask? 🤷♀️