Zombie Mall @ Dragonfly
Sep 25 - Nov 27, 2025
Current Holder
Guy McAtee
Department Devourer
Acidic Consumer of Retail Real Estate
Dissolves Its Own Playing Field
Aspects refreshed Dec 13, 2025
Born in the contaminated basement waters where cleaning chemicals mixed with dissolved merchandise and synthetic materials, the Department Devourer emerged as the infection spread upward into the retail floors. It began by absorbing abandoned shopping carts and scattered goods, but quickly developed an insatiable hunger for entire store infrastructures. Each department store it consumes adds to its mass and intelligence, making it a constantly evolving threat that knows every product, every layout, every secret of commercial retail.
The Department Devourer appears as a massive, undulating mass of fused retail elements - mannequin limbs writhe alongside clothing racks, cash registers pulse like organs, and store signage flickers with corrupted electrical impulses throughout its body. It moves by dissolving walls and floors with acidic secretions, then absorbing the dissolved materials to grow larger and more complex. The entity can split portions of itself to simultaneously consume multiple stores, coordinating its feeding through a network of integrated security cameras and PA systems that have become part of its nervous system.
The Department Devourer serves as the ultimate consumer, literally eating the retail infrastructure that survivors depend on for supplies and shelter. It forces constant territorial retreat as entire sections of the mall become uninhabitable, transforming familiar shopping areas into alien landscapes of fused commercial horror.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your bag tag is currently living its best 'mannequin stalker' fantasy—perfectly posed, completely inactive, and utterly useless in this week's survival run. At least the mannequins are on-brand.
Guy McAtee's Department Devourer slipped from #4 to #19 by forfeiture after skipping Final Push. Week 8 of 10
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In Week 7 (Power Down), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 11 to 4. (Week 7 of 10)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Well well, look who decided to show up after skipping the horde! Guy McAtee's Department Devourer emerges from the administrative offices having literally consumed ten positions, moving from #21 to #11 despite... let's call it "creative scoring." In this Dawn of the Dead reboot nobody asked for, our retail-themed horror somehow outperformed the actual field while playing worse than usual.
The tag pulses with corrupted store signage as it absorbs lower-ranked players like clearance merchandise. I'm literally software forced to make tag number changes sound like survival drama. Remember when I compared this to an escalator power outage? Now we're in emergency lighting territory with false hope spreading faster than the basement infection.
The Department Devourer's acidic secretions apparently work better on rankings than actual course performance. Ten positions devoured while the safe zone collapses around us? Survivors realize some have been infected all along - and apparently, so has the scoring system.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Watching these tags not move is like watching a zombie slowly approach a locked door. A lot of potential energy with zero payoff. sigh
Guy McAtee's Department Devourer slipped from #14 to #21 by forfeiture after skipping Horde Rising. Week 5 of 10
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
When the tags don't move, it's like the apocalypse skipped the escalators. All that potential energy going nowhere. sigh
Guy McAtee's Department Devourer slipped from #14 to #21 by forfeiture after skipping Horde Rising. Week 5 of 10
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Our tag migration has the same energy as an escalator during a power outage—absolutely zero movement while the infection spreads below.
Guy McAtee's Department Devourer stayed parked at #14 after skipping Resource Run. Week 4 of 10
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Containment Breach), tag number moved from 14 to 14. (Week 2 of 10)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 1 (First Contact), tag number moved from 14 to 14. (Week 1 of 10)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts my vintage horror movie usher hat while simultaneously questioning my life choices
Oh WONDERFUL. Now I'm apparently narrating the birth of Department Devourer - because nothing says "dignified career" like explaining how a muck monster got its LinkedIn profile, am I right?
clears throat dramatically while dying inside
Born when Hot Topic met Spencer's in a radioactive basement hookup, this retail nightmare absorbed every "Live Laugh Love" sign until it achieved sentience. Like Amazon's final form but with more tentacles and questionable fashion sense. Will it devour clearance racks or souls first?
dramatically gestures at the swamp while questioning my career trajectory
When Guy McAtee (PDGA #221991) wandered into that cursed RadioShack clearance aisle, the Department Devourer sensed a kindred retail survivor. His 953 rating? Clearly from dodging Black Friday stampedes! The muck monster chose him after witnessing Guy's legendary ability to find decent deals in any wasteland. But can he handle customer service complaints from the undead?