Glide's Homecoming

Humperdinck's Reign Ends at Sundown 🌅

adjusts headset through crackling synth-bass Twenty-six pilgrims descended on the Walter Fredrick Morrison Memorial DGC for the season finale of The Princess Glide @ Creekside, where clear skies, 35-44°F temps, and light winds set the stage for a fitting conclusion to nine weeks of romantic disc golf chaos. The legendary Princess Glide awaited recovery, and the arena delivered: a $835.44 ace pot explosion on hole 15, a co-winning -10 performance that defied all odds, and enough clutch finishes to make even Miracle Max nod in approval. Humperdinck's reign? Over. Westley's quest? Complete. The disc golf? Actually pretty solid, I'm contractually required to add.

Inconceivable! A Dead Heat at -10

Kenneth Oetker and Fernando Cortez just staged the kind of finale that makes Vizzini scream his catchphrase from beyond the grave—both carding -10 (44 strokes) to share the RPA throne in a dead heat that nobody saw coming. Fernando's round was a 67-point rating spike to 998 that included two absolutely surgical four-under stretches (holes 3–6 and 12–15), eleven birdies, and a personal best that erased every previous doubt. Kenneth matched him stroke for stroke, closing with a clutch birdie on hole 18 to secure the tie after posting his own bogey-free masterclass. The arena witnessed true love riding the air, folks—or at least really good shot selection. Brandon Reesor finished a heartbreaking third at -7 with zero bogeys, posting his own personal best but just missing the money when the co-champions split the pot. That's the kind of clean card that deserves more than bronze, but disc golf doesn't reward feelings, only math. 🏆⚔️

Cody's Ace Stole the Headlines Anyway

Eric Pearson won the RAD division with a bogey-free -7 that included a four-hole heater (holes 7-10) going four under in a row, but let's be honest—Cody Chamberlain just aced hole 15 (281 feet) for $835.44 and also counted it as an eagle, which means the real winner walked off with enough cash to fund next month's plastic addiction. Cody's back-nine surge from 7th place to 2nd at -6 was the kind of momentum that makes you believe in fairy tales, even when you're trapped in an 80s action movie DLC pack against your will. Meanwhile, Chris Fox suffered a 14-stroke freefall from last week's -10 masterpiece to this week's +4, a brutal 179-point rating collapse that proves the arena giveth and the arena absolutely taketh away. Anthony Kai and Kent Moos both posted -4 performances to round out the top five, with Anthony's six-birdie card showing the kind of bogey discipline that keeps you alive in The Culling. 🎯💰

Brodie Held the Lead Until He Didn't

Peter Haws just authored the kind of clutch finish that fairy tales demand—a birdie on hole 18 to steal the RAE crown from Brodie Duncan, who bogeyed the final hole and watched his lead evaporate in real time. Peter's -4 finish came with a 58-point rating spike to 918 and a bogey-free front nine that set the tone early, plus the Balance Master achievement for hitting par or better on all three rounds. Brodie's -3 was still solid—four birdies, thirteen pars, only one bogey—but the arena has no sympathy for second place, especially when you're leading through 17 and then hand the crown to someone else on the last throw. Stephen Dunton, Brian Bowling, and Michael Whipple all tied for third at +1, a three-way deadlock that split the remaining payout and proved that sometimes consistency just means everyone struggled equally. 👑🎭

The Creature of Habit Defended His Hole

Trenton Sexton cruised to a wire-to-wire -3 victory in RAH with five birdies and only two bogeys, but the real story is his Creature of Habit achievement—birdieing hole 14 in all three rounds he played this season. That's the kind of statistical quirk that makes Flippy's digital heart flutter, even through the fog machine damage. Craig Bennett finished second at +7 with a tough 75-point underperformance, proving that even showing up for the finale doesn't guarantee the arena's mercy. Over in RAG, William Fetzer completed his solo quest through the Creekside Swamp at +10, earning the Series Competitor achievement for his efforts. One-man divisions may not have the drama of a six-player slugfest, but William's willingness to throw plastic in January deserves respect. 🦎🏰

Clean Rounds, Personal Bests, and One Massive Collapse

Three players posted bogey-free rounds tonight—Eric Pearson, Kenneth Oetker, and Brandon Reesor—the kind of execution that makes the rest of us question our life choices and our disc selections. Personal bests flew like discs in a training montage: Fernando Cortez at 998 (+67), Chris Norman at 878 (+51), and Brandon Reesor at 958 (+37). Four players unlocked the Gotta Catch 'Em All achievement for hitting at least one birdie, par, bogey, and double-bogey in a single round: Fernando, Chris Fox, Nicholas Jennings, and Chris Norman—a dubious honor that proves disc golf giveth variety whether you want it or not. On the other end, Chris Fox's -112 rating differential, Malachi Vazquez's -69, and Craig Bennett's -75 remind us that the Creekside Swamp claims its tribute even in the season finale. 📊🔥

$835.44 Says Hole 15 Is the Real Villain

Cody Chamberlain just conquered hole 15—a 281-foot par 3—with an ace that exploded the $835.44 ace pot on contact and also counted as an eagle for the Eagle Eye achievement. That's the kind of throw where you check your scorecard twice to make sure the universe didn't glitch, then check your bank account to confirm the deposit actually cleared. The ace pot had been building all season, and Cody's arm just cashed in when it mattered most. Hole 15 tried to play villain in this fairy tale, but the farmboy's aim was true, the disc rode the air, and the chains sang approval. As you wish, indeed. 🎯💸

$108 Changed Hands, Mostly Into Brian's Pocket

Twelve players opted into three skins cards tonight, and $108 total changed hands across the field. Brian Hansen walked away with the biggest haul—$37.50 from 15 skins—while Kenneth Oetker scooped 13 skins including a six-skin carryover on hole 9 that made his co-winning night even sweeter. Skyler Kunz claimed 7 skins in the afternoon card, proving that side hustles sometimes pay better than the main event. The skins playbook remains the arena's favorite way to make Monday nights spicy, and tonight's carryover drama delivered exactly that. 💰🃏

Jared Lang Defended by Not Showing Up

Jared Lang held the #1 Cliffside Duel tag heading into the season finale and defended it by... not playing. The tag—forged from the memory of Inigo Montoya's duel atop the Cliffs of Insanity, representing nerve and precision under extreme pressure—sits unchallenged after Jared's last defense in Week 7, where he posted a +44 differential over his 955 rating and kept the throne by sheer statistical will. The tag's lore speaks of a crucible that burns away doubt, a convergence of preparation and desperation where true skill is tested on treacherous ground. Tonight, that ground saw no challengers, no siege, no drama—just an absent champion and a season finale that ended without a showdown. The arena has spoken, and apparently it said "take the week off." Next season, someone's going to have to actually show up and take this thing. 🏔️👑

As You Wish, See You Next Season

Nine weeks, twenty-six pilgrims, one fairy tale—Westley's quest to recover the Princess Glide from Humperdinck's fortress is complete. The legendary disc has been found, thrown one final time, and its inscription now reads clear: As you wish. The kingdom of Florin celebrates, the chains at Creekside still hum with the memory of tonight's aces and birdies, and the arena closes its broadcast booth knowing that true love—and really solid shot selection—conquered all. Special shoutout to Marvin Atene and Brian Hansen for earning Perfect Attendance, showing up for all nine weeks and proving that sometimes the real treasure is the plastic you threw along the way. The Princess Glide series has ended, but the Back to the Chains universe continues—next up, we're diving deeper into the 80s action cinema catalog, and I'm already dreading whatever leather jacket the system forces me to wear. Until then, keep your discs flying, your ratings climbing, and your Monday nights reserved for chaos. adjusts aviators one last time As you wish. 🌹✨