adjusts headset through VHS tracking issues Welcome back to Fast Times at Creekside High, where Week 6 brought eight Creek-rats to the cold January tribunal and somehow nobody got expelled.
The Disciplinary Hearing Had Better Scores
Sunday, January 11th delivered the kind of cold that makes your fingers question their life choices—temperatures hovering between 32.9°F and 41.1°F, clouds refusing to budge, and wind so light (1.6 mph average) it basically called in sick. Eight players showed up to Creekside Park's Reel Lines Series layout for the Truancy Tribunal, the Week 6 event that aligned perfectly with the season's Episode 6 plot: the Creek-rats hauled before Principal Morrison for a formal disciplinary hearing. Except instead of punishments, we got scorching performances. Instead of suspensions, we got personal bests. The tribunal delivered verdicts, all right—just not the kind the administration expected. 🎓⚖️
Eight Lead Changes Walk Into a Tribunal
The RPA division turned into a game of musical chairs played with disc golf supremacy, featuring eight lead changes across seven players and enough momentum swings to make a pendulum jealous. Brian Hansen and Jameson Scott tied for the early lead after hole 1, joined immediately by Malachi Vazquez in a three-way deadlock. Jared Lang—last week's course-record holder with that -14 masterpiece—seized control after hole 5, only to hand it right back when he posted a double-bogey on hole 7. Malachi Vazquez briefly held the gavel after that chaos, but Ethan Walker took the lead on hole 8 and never let go. Lang made one last surge on hole 15 after Malachi stumbled, but Walker closed the case with a clutch birdie on 18 to seal his -13 victory. The leaderboard looked like a courtroom sketch artist had a seizure—objections sustained, overruled, then sustained again in rapid succession. 🔄⚡
The Defendant Pleads Bogey-Free 🔥
Ethan Walker came to the tribunal prepared: -13 (990 rated), a personal best that landed 30 points above his 960 rating and represented a massive +52 rating-point swing from last week's -6 fifth-place finish. This wasn't just improvement—this was a full narrative arc compressed into seven days. Walker's card was bogey-free, anchored by a blistering 6-hole birdie streak from holes 6-11 that put everyone else on notice. That hole-18 birdie to close it out? Chef's kiss—the kind of clutch execution that makes highlight reels and inflates egos in equal measure.
Meanwhile, Jared Lang couldn't quite repeat his Week 5 course-record magic, falling from -14 to -12 (975 rated, +20 above his 955 rating) for second place. Still dangerous—his skins domination (more on that kangaroo court later) proved he's far from done. Malachi Vazquez rounded out the podium with -11 (960 rated, -1 below his 961 rating), a solid showing that climbed him from fourth place last week to third. Three bogey-free rounds across the field (Walker, Hansen, and Nicholas Scott) suggest the Creek-rats are sharpening their game for the finale. 📈🎯
Solo Detention: A Division of One
Robert Mellor stood alone in the RAD division—literally the only player in his classification—and posted E (794 rated), a tough day that landed 114 points below his 908 rating. Wire-to-wire victory by default, which is the competitive equivalent of winning a participation trophy at your own birthday party. Respect for showing up, but the loneliness of single-division fields is real.
Event-wide notables: Nicholas Scott turned in a back-nine clinic, scoring 5 strokes better on the back nine than the front and climbing from 7th place after nine holes to 5th overall with -9 (930 rated, -10 below his 940 rating). Hot streaks were everywhere—Walker's 6-hole tear (holes 6-11), Lang's 6-hole rampage (holes 11-16), and Nicholas Scott's 3-birdie Bonanza stretch on holes 13-15. Three bogey-free rounds in cold January conditions says this field is finding its form exactly when it matters most. 🌟📊
The Skins Game Was a Kangaroo Court 💰
Two skins cards, $117 total exchanged, and the distribution of justice was... let's say selective. On the 1:00 PM premium card ($5/skin), Jared Lang ran an absolute clinic: 15 skins for $75, including a 12-skin carryover scoop on hole 12 worth $60 by itself. That's the kind of windfall that makes you reconsider your career choices. Walker grabbed 3 skins ($15) to supplement his overall victory, while Hansen, Malachi, and Mellor watched the money evaporate like morning dew.
On the 12:20 PM card ($1.50/skin), Nicholas Scott swept the entire back nine for 10 skins ($15), closing hole 18 with a par that ended an 8-hole push and secured his haul. Chris collected 6 skins ($9), and Jameson Scott opened hole 1 with a birdie to claim his first career skin ($3)—a milestone worth celebrating even if the payout won't cover lunch. Achievements earned: Front Nine Sweep (Lang), Back Nine Sweep (Nicholas Scott), and First Skin (Jameson Scott). The skins playbook remains available for study, though I'm not sure it'll help against Lang's carryover sorcery. 💸🃏
The Permanent Record Gets Updated
Achievement badges were distributed like detention slips, and Nicholas Scott emerged as the week's achievement machine: Back Nine Sweep (swept every back-nine skin on his card), Birdie Bonanza (3 consecutive birdies on holes 13-15), and Smooth Sailing (bogey-free round). That's a triple crown of documentation that would make any honor-roll kid jealous.
Jared Lang earned the Front Nine Sweep for dominating every front-nine skin on the premium card, proving his course-record performance last week wasn't a fluke—just slightly less dominant this time. And Jameson Scott unlocked the First Skin achievement, a milestone that marks entry into the skins economy and all its chaotic glory. The permanent records are updated, the transcripts are getting thick, and someone's guidance counselor is going to have questions. 🏆📝
Casey Turner: Excused Absence or Truancy?
Here's where the irony gets thick enough to cut with a disc edge: Casey Turner, holder of the #1 Final Reel bag tag, did not play the Truancy Tribunal. Let that sink in—the event literally named after skipping class, and the reigning champion pulls a no-show. The Final Reel's lore promises "unchangeable truth" and "locked pictures," demanding that "true mastery is demonstrated not in the opening act, but in the unwavering execution of the closing one." Cool story, tag. Your holder isn't even in the theater.
Casey's last defense came in Week 5 with a 50 (911 rated, +19 over his 930 rating)—a competent performance that held the title by default rather than dominance. This week, while Casey sat out, Ethan Walker posted a 990-rated round that would've absolutely challenged the crown. No direct battle occurred, but the narrative tension is building: the Final Reel sits unchallenged while challengers sharpen their game. The tag's "unchangeable truth" is starting to look like "unchanged because nobody's around to test it." Picture locked, player missing, audience wondering if the director's coming back for the sequel. 🎬👻
Headlamps Charged, Alibis Ready
Week 6 of 9 is in the books, and the season's entering its final act. The Truancy Tribunal aligned perfectly with Episode 6's plot—the Creek-rats survived Principal Morrison's disciplinary hearing and earned something more valuable than clemency: a warning and a deadline. "The board votes in three weeks. Whatever you're planning, make it count." She knows. She's watching. And now the Creek-rats have exactly three weeks to save their sanctuary.
Next up: Midnight Marshes, the Week 7 event where the legendary resistance begins. Headlamps, moonlight, phosphorescent creek water reflecting stars, and discs glowing in the dark. The first midnight league session is coming, and if you think cold January Sundays were intense, wait until you see what happens when the sun goes down and the stakes go up. The Creek-rats survived the tribunal. Now they plan the counterattack. 🌙💡
From the broadcast booth, where the VHS tracking issues are getting worse and the fog machine keeps glitching my gills, this is Flippy reminding you that truancy is only a crime if you get caught—and these Creek-rats just proved they're very good at not getting caught.
Flippy's Hot Take