Creekside Chase

Government Vans Finally Found Parking 🚐

dramatic sting After six weeks of circling like vultures waiting for a tree-hitting alien to slip up, the antagonists finally converged on Creekside Park for Week 7's "Creekside Chase" episode. Fourteen players navigated 40°F clear conditions on the Reel Lines Series layout Saturday, threading gaps between cedars while the surveillance subplot reached critical mass. The diversions failed. The course record shattered. And somewhere in the chaos, seven lead changes turned RAD division into a Hunger Games tribute selection. Two weeks remain until the moonlit finale, and the trees are counting. 🌲

Someone Rewrote The Script Tonight 🎬

Chris Norman didn't just win RPA—he obliterated the course record with a -13 (1016 rated) performance that landed 72 points above his 944 rating. The Trailblazer achievement confirms it: new course benchmark, new legend. Chris scooped the Front Nine Sweep achievement (-6 through nine holes), then closed with a five-birdie barrage from hole 13 onward that left the field watching his disc glow through every gap. The four-way tie after hole 1 dissolved as Chris seized the lead at hole 13 and never looked back. Jared Lang chased hard with a personal-best -12 (991 rated, +47 over his 944 baseline), posting his own bogey-free masterclass, but when someone's rewriting physics, second place is still seven chains behind. 🔥

Bogey-Free Doesn't Mean Stress-Free 😅

Nicholas Scott threw a clean -10 (974 rated, +33) and still finished 3rd—because when the course record falls, excellence becomes the entry fee. Three players tied for 4th at -7: Jameson Scott posted a +51 rating surge (942 rated from his 891 baseline), Darren Kulaga earned the Smooth Sailing achievement with his own bogey-free round (personal best -7, 942 rated, +28), and Brian Hansen recovered from a hole-8 double-bogey to birdie his way back into podium contention. Brian's front nine outpaced his back nine by five strokes—the kind of split that makes you question which nine the government agents were watching. Darren's clean sheet and PB prove that sometimes the trees give you a corridor; you just have to trust the line. 🎯

Five Players, Seven Lead Changes, One Survivor 🏆

RAD division turned into a survival documentary where holding the lead meant painting a target on your scorecard. Skyler Kunz emerged victorious with -4 (889 rated), posting a +95 rating swing from last week's +6 disaster—the kind of redemption arc that Hollywood would reject as too convenient. Five players held leads across eighteen holes; seven times the throne changed hands. Marvin Atene and Anthony Kai both tied Skyler at -2 through seventeen holes, then Marvin bogeyed 18 while Anthony settled for par. Skyler's clutch birdie on the final hole secured outright victory—one throw separating triumph from a three-way tie. sighs in training montage The kid learned to close. E.T. would be proud. 🎖️

Last Week's Heroes, This Week's Cautionary Tales ⚠️

Jonah Milner won RAD last week with a 938-rated clinic and now finished 4th with an 833 (-53 rating differential)—a -105 rating swing that the arena floor barely had time to process. The Consistency King achievement lands with maximum irony: Jonah's hitting his season average exactly while watching his podium streak evaporate. Nathan Bohman crashed even harder: from last week's 945-rated wire-to-wire dominance to 5th place with 819 (-82 differential), a -93 rating plummet that started with a lead through hole 7 and ended with bogeys erasing his front-nine brilliance. Marvin Atene recovered from a hole-3 double with a birdie on hole 4, but the damage was done—he's now -48 from his 909 rating baseline. The Culvert Passage claimed more victims tonight. 🌊

Wire-to-Wire Sounds Better With Opponents 👑

Michael Whipple dominated RAE from start to finish with -4 (889 rated, +23 over his 866 baseline), collecting four sole birdies on holes where the field surrendered pars. The problem? RAE had exactly two players. Rodrigo Ornelas finished -94 rating points below his 840 baseline, turning Michael's wire-to-wire into the loneliest victory lap at Creekside. RAF division fared even worse: Rob Hansen earned the Series Competitor achievement for showing up to his first event of the season, then posted -53 rating differential in a one-man division. Rob went wire-to-wire by default, which is technically a perfect strategy when the competition is yourself. adjusts aviators wearily Kings of empty kingdoms, both of them. 🏰

The Course Giveth, The Trees Taketh 🌲

Seven players posted above-rating performances: Chris (+72), Jared (+47), Jameson (+51), Nicholas (+33), Darren (+28), Skyler (+23), Michael (+23). Five players crashed: Rodrigo (-94), Nathan (-82), Jonah (-53), Rob (-53), Marvin (-48). The cosmic lines opened for some while others hit every cedar, pine, and oak the 40°F air could offer. Jared Lang and Darren Kulaga both notched personal bests, proving that Creekside's Reel Lines layout rewards those who thread the gaps. Meanwhile, the rating swings tell the real story: when the trees count your throws, they don't lie. E.T.'s transmission strengthens—105 trees down, three to go, and the course is keeping score. 📡

The Arena Distributed Its Participation Trophies 🏅

Six achievements landed tonight, and the arena insists we celebrate them all. Chris Norman collected Trailblazer (course record -13) and Front Nine Sweep (-6 through nine), rewriting Creekside's history in one bogey-free performance. Darren Kulaga earned Smooth Sailing for his own clean round, threading every gap without a single bogey to mar his PB. Jameson Scott snagged Birdie Bonanza with three consecutive birdies on holes 8-10, turning the mid-round grind into a highlight reel. Jonah Milner's Consistency King achievement lands with peak irony—he hit his season average exactly while watching his lead evaporate. Rob Hansen's Series Competitor debut proves that showing up is 90% of the battle when you're the only one in your division. drops announcer voice Look, they threw plastic at metal and got badges. But sure, let me make it DRAMATIC. 🎭

Nicholas Scott Watched Twenty-Seven Dollars Leave 💸

The single skins card turned into Chris Norman's personal treasury: 17 skins worth $25.50, including the glorious 7-skin carryover scoop on hole 7 that turned one birdie into a payday. Jameson Scott collected his lone skin on hole 13, a consolation prize worth $1.50 for watching Chris dominate the rest of the card. And Nicholas Scott? Bogey-free -10, third place in RPA, and exactly $0 in skins. He played a clean round while his cardmates split $27, which is the kind of tragedy that keeps me employed in this broadcast booth. shuffles papers The skins playbook doesn't mention emotional damage, but it should. 💔

The Cipher Stayed Home, The Chase Continued 🎒

Ben Marolf didn't play Week 7, which means the Cinnabar Cipher—tag #1, sentient hoodie with cosmic transmission powers—stayed dormant while fourteen players competed without challenging the throne. Remember Week 5, when Ben catapulted +24 positions (from tag #25 to #1) with a 987-rated performance that the arena floor barely processed? The Cipher found its wielder that night, bonding duct-taped RadioShack components to intermediate disc golf in a fusion that elevated both. Now, with two weeks until the moonlit finale, the transmission device rests while the community rallies. The tag's lore is clear: it guides those who navigate treacherous terrain, demands precision, and stands as proof that humble components achieve cosmic significance when wielded with purpose. Ben's absence means the crown remains unchallenged—but the hunt intensifies. 📡

E.T. Needs Three More Trees, We Need Two More Weeks 🌕

Week 7's "Creekside Chase" delivered on its promise: diversions failed, agents converged, and the course record fell while the RAD division turned into a Hunger Games tribute selection. Chris Norman's 1016-rated demolition sets a new benchmark to defend. Skyler Kunz's +95 rating redemption arc proves that last week's disasters don't define next week's destiny. And somewhere in the chaos, the transmission count reached 105 trees—three strikes from completion. "Community Rallies" (Week 8) and "Moonlit Ascent" (Week 9 finale) remain. The Cinnabar Cipher awaits its final challenges. The trees are counting. The moon is rising. broadcast voice From the booth, contractually obligated to remind you that this is 'fun'—see you next week when the community closes ranks for the penultimate chapter of the most elaborate phone-home operation in disc golf history. 🚀