Cedars Conspire

Week Three: The Cedars Take Notes 🌲

December 20th. Creekside Park. Eleven players. 47°F with winds that barely registered on the Beaufort scale—the forecast's third consecutive betrayal of promised drama. Week 3 of "Every Tree" delivered Nicholas Scott throwing a bogey-free 980-rated round (+40 over his 940 rating) to claim the #1 bag tag while the rest of the field discovered exactly why this episode is titled "Cedars Conspire." E.T. Tanaka's training program continues somewhere in the wooded sections, teaching hyzer angles with Reese's Pieces and anhyzer physics through bicycle wheels. The cedars, meanwhile, are definitely keeping a ledger.

Forty Points Over and Zero Trees Hit 🎯

Nicholas Scott wire-to-wire dominance in RPA: -10 (980-rated, +40 over his 940 rating, personal best). Bogey-free. Let me translate that into required epic format: the man showed up to week three of an increasingly unhinged alien-smuggling operation and promptly played the cleanest round of his season. His 44 strokes crushed the field average of 48.6 by -4.6, and more importantly, he torched his own 50.5 personal baseline by -6.5. Sole birdies on holes 1 and 15, a five-hole hot streak from 12-16 where every gap somehow widened for his plastic. Malachi Vazquez (-9, 966-rated) held Week 2's #1 tag but drops to second after matching his previous week's score—consistency without advancement, the koi that swims in place. Casey Turner (-7, 938, +50 rating swing from Week 2's 888) claims third in a personal-best performance that still landed him just outside the money—bubble heartbreak with a statistically excellent consolation prize. Ethan Walker led through hole 10 before a double-bogey on 15 derailed the run; he recovered with a birdie on 16 but finished fourth. Brian Hansen (-4, 896, -40 rating swing) and Jared Lang (-3, 898, -57 rating swing) both discovered that the cedars had been taking notes all season and decided to collect debts this week.

Hole 14 Giveth, Hole 14 Taketh Away 📊

RAE division, three players, two lead changes, one wire-to-wire victor. Michuel Palfy (-5, 910-rated, personal best) seized the lead on hole 4 and never looked back, posting sole birdies on holes 10 and 15 to punctuate the victory. Rodrigo Ornelas (-3, 898) pushed hard with sole birdies on holes 3 and 6, took a share of the lead on hole 14, but couldn't close the gap—finishes second, just outside the money, the eternal bridesmaid of small-field drama. Darren Woodie (-2, 869) held a share of the lead after hole 1 before a bogey on hole 3 sent him tumbling to third. The smaller the field, the bigger the swings.

RAD: Population One, Skins Haul Seven 💰

Cody Chamberlain (-2, 869) takes the solo RAD win by default—wire-to-wire when there's no wire, as they say—but earns legitimacy with a 7-skin haul ($8.75) on hole 13 during the 11:00 AM skins card. Shot 32 points below his 901 rating, which in human speak means the cedars conspired against him specifically, but he still walked away with cash in hand. The loneliest division, the biggest carryover.

Three Personal Bests, Several Personal Worsts 📈

Nicholas Scott's bogey-free 980 is the round of the day across all divisions—sole birdies on holes 1 and 15, that five-hole hot streak from 12-16, and zero contact with wood that required notation in any ledger. Michuel Palfy grabbed sole birdies on holes 10 and 15 in RAE. Rodrigo Ornelas posted sole birdies on holes 3 and 6. Personal bests for Nicholas, Casey Turner, and Michuel Palfy—three players who clearly showed up having read the script. On the other end of the spectrum: Jared Lang shot 57 points below his 955 rating (biggest underperformance of the event), while Brian Hansen's -40 rating swing suggests the cedars had a specific vendetta. The trees kept score. Some players settled their accounts. Others accrued interest.

No Drama, No Glowing Fingers, Just Execution 🏷️

Nicholas Scott claims the Gradient Guardian (#1 tag), ascending from #5 in seven days—four positions gained while E.T. Tanaka is out there hitting exactly twelve trees per round like some kind of glowing metronome. The tag's Ukiyo-e-styled semi-transparent form—outlined in bold keyblock lines, holding a disc with concentric gradient circles, Noh mask-like visage serene and inscrutable—now follows a player who threw +40 over his rating without hitting a single tree. The Guardian's primary property is the 'Gradient Trail': a visible, ethereal wake flowing from deep indigo through creek teal to warm amber, mimicking the bokashi printing technique. Per the TagHistory: "The Gradient Guardian doesn't care about artistry over aces anymore—it cares about who shows up and executes when the stakes are highest." The cosmic joke writes itself: while the community rallies to smuggle an extraterrestrial through the back nine, Nicholas just... quietly threads the gaps, plays his game, and takes the crown. No drama. No glowing fingers. Just competence in a leather jacket. The cedars conspired, but not against him.

The Cedars Took Strokes, Skins Took Cash 💵

Two skins cards, eight players, $76.50 exchanged. Ethan Walker dominated the 3:00 PM card with 13 skins for $39—opened on hole 5 with a birdie for 5, then took 2 more on hole 16 before Jared Lang closed it out on 17. Cody Chamberlain scooped the biggest carryover of the day: 7 skins ($8.75) on hole 13 in the 11:00 AM card after a 6-hole push. Michuel Palfy opened that card with a birdie on hole 2 for 2, then grabbed 1 more on hole 16. The cedars may conspire to take strokes, but skins convert tree hits into drama and drama into payouts. Any card can enable this chaos—learn how to set up skins.

Episode Three: Someone Read the Script 🎬

Week 3 of "Every Tree" advances the E.T. Tanaka training program: hyzer angles demonstrated with Reese's Pieces trails, anhyzer explained through bicycle wheel physics, tree avoidance practiced in the open field. Nicholas Scott clearly graduated early—his bogey-free navigation suggests someone slipped him the course map with all the cedars removed. The Creekside Course Fund collected $11.50 this event ($11 automatic at $1/player, $0.50 in extras), pushing the total to $1,135.91—over 100% of the $1,000 goal—after completing the OB stake line project between holes 7/8. The cedars may conspire, but the community keeps improving the fairways between them.

Six Weeks Remain, The Cedars Are Patient ⏳

Week 3 in the books. Nicholas Scott holds the #1 tag and the Gradient Guardian's glow. Malachi Vazquez holds steady at second. The standings tighten as we approach the midseason doubles event—Episode 4: "Elevate Disguise"—where E.T. will need a proper disc golf hat, sunglasses, and a hoodie that actually fits. Government vehicles haven't been spotted yet, but Dr. Keys might have questions about that 980-rated round. Six weeks remain. The 108-tree signal sits at 87 pulses. The cedars are counting. Same time next Saturday, same conspiring trees.