Creekside Yokai

Government-Conspiracy-Level Weather Delivered ✅

Adjusts glasses and stares at the data with the resignation of someone who predicted this exact chaos. Saturday, December 6th delivered on every meteorological threat I made—44°F average temperatures, persistent rain, and seventeen brave souls who apparently took "government-conspiracy-level miserable" as a personal challenge rather than a warning. Shae Chamberlain dominated with a -7 (974-rated) performance to claim both the RPA title and the coveted #1 bag tag, while RAE witnessed a lead-change carnival that would make a stock trader dizzy. The E.T. saga officially launched at Creekside Park, and judging by the results, the yokai have definitely arrived. 🌧️

RPA: Where Trees Fear to Tread

Shae Chamberlain turned in a wire-to-wire masterclass, leading from hole 2 onward with a clean -7 that rated 974—apparently someone remembered how discs are supposed to work in this weather. Houston Turner fought his way to second place at -5 (948-rated), showcasing impressive resilience after a rough stretch through hole 8 before bouncing back with authority. Brian Hansen (-4, 936-rated) claimed the final podium spot but missed the cash by a single stroke—bubble heartbreak in its purest form. The early drama belonged to Malachi Vazquez, who led through hole 3 before fading to 4th, though he salvaged pride with a bogey-free back nine. Jameson Scott also tasted early leadership before settling into 6th. Turner's rating swing of +68 points proved that sometimes the weather just clicks. 🔥

RAE: Musical Chairs With Scorecards

Five players decided to conduct a masterclass in "how to make a leaderboard look like it was struck by lightning." Stephen Dunton and Gregg Davis emerged as co-champions at -2 (both 910-rated), but only after surviving more lead changes than a political debate. Michuel Palfy led after hole 1, Gregg Davis took over on hole 2, Jon White grabbed control on hole 3, and then the carousel really got spinning. Dunton made his decisive move on hole 9, but the lead continued ping-ponging through the back nine until both eventual winners crossed the finish line in a dead heat. White led through hole 6 before fading to 4th, finishing 53 points below his rating. Dunton's +70 rating performance and Davis's +20 proved that sometimes chaos rewards the persistent. 🎠

Wire-to-Wire Victories (By Default)

The solo division champions proved that competing against yourself can still yield impressive results. William Fetzer (RAG) posted +1 while shooting 92 points above his 780 rating—a personal triumph disguised as a modest score. Kevin Koga (RAF) matched that +1 total while performing 74 points above his 798 rating, riding a six-hole par train through the middle stretch. Skyler Kunz (RAD) had a tougher battle at +8, finishing 75 points below their 858 rating as the trees extracted their toll. Sometimes the real competition is between you and the course, and two of these three players clearly won that battle. 🏆

The Rating Algorithm Had Questions

With rating swings ranging from +92 to -75, the PDGA's statistical department probably filed a formal complaint about this round. Fetzer's 92-point explosion led the overperformers, followed by Koga (+74), Dunton (+70), and Turner (+68)—proof that rainy December conditions can sometimes unlock hidden potential. On the flip side, Kunz (-75), Nicholas Scott (-63), Chris Norman (-56), and White (-53) discovered that the trees were particularly hungry this week. Clean back nines belonged to Vazquez, Hansen, and Chamberlain, while sole birdies scattered across both factions: Vazquez (holes 1, 13), Chamberlain (holes 5, 11), and Turner (hole 6) representing the Moonlit Yokai Collective, with Davis (hole 2), White (holes 3, 12), Dunton (holes 8, 9), and Palfy (hole 18) flying the Kabuki Authority Bureau flag. 📊

Tag #1: Now With an Actual Human Attached

Shae Chamberlain claimed the Culvert Courier tag with a dominant climb from #8 to #1, and frankly, it couldn't have found a better bearer. This shadow in the storm drains specializes in clandestine supply routes beneath Creekside, navigating the labyrinth of concrete tunnels with grimy resilience and a worn backpack full of tactical necessities. Born from Gertie's desperate discovery of unfinished drainage during E.T.'s first escape, the Courier moves with the perfect knowledge of every rusted grate and ankle-deep stream. Shae's -7 performance proved they possess the same systematic precision—avoiding government surveillance on the surface while delivering results that matter. The tag's latest history notes a position improvement in Week 1 of the Creekside Yokai event, and with mud-streaked determination now guiding its path, the Courier has officially entered the conspiracy. 🕳️

Shae Took the Skins Too (Of Course)

Because dominating RPA and claiming the #1 tag apparently wasn't enough, Shae Chamberlain also led the skins charge with 13 skins for $65 on the 12:00 PM card, including a massive 7-skin carryover scoop on hole 18. Malachi Vazquez grabbed 11 skins for $55 on the 11:00 AM card, opening with birdie on hole 1 and closing with birdies on 17-18 in a classic bookend performance. Houston Turner collected 9 skins on the 11:20 AM card, while Chris Norman managed 5 skins for $25. Across three cards, $207 changed hands as players discovered that birdies become currency when the stakes are right. Learn how to set up skins for your next card. 💰

Funding the Conspiracy, One Dollar at a Time

Week 1 of the E.T. saga officially launched the tree-counting mission—fog rolled through hole one, strange lights flickered near the creek bed, and seventeen players witnessed the arrival of our mysterious exchange student. The white vans have been spotted circling the parking lot (government surveillance is clearly escalating), while the community raised $20.90 for the Creekside Course Fund through automatic donations ($17) and additional contributions ($3.90). The fund has surpassed its $1,000 goal, recently completing OB stakes between holes 7 and 8—infrastructure improvements that will definitely not be used to hide alien technology. With no current improvement requests pending, players are invited to suggest upgrades that could enhance course conditions or provide better cover for clandestine operations. 🛸

Next Week: The Paperwork Is in Crayon

"Tanaka Arrives" awaits in Week 2, where E.T. officially registers for the season with suspiciously colorful documentation while Elliott's protective circle forms around the newcomer. The pattern emerges: exactly twelve trees per round, every round, as if someone is counting toward something cosmic. Shae Chamberlain leads RPA standings, Stephen Dunton and Gregg Davis share the RAE throne, and the faction war between Moonlit Yokai Collective and Kabuki Authority Bureau has officially begun. Eight weeks remain until the moonlit finale, but first we need 108 trees. The signal pulses continue, and somewhere in the storm drains beneath Creekside, the Culvert Courier prepares for its next mission. 🖍️