Investigation Begins

dramatic horror sting Well, well, well... another week of "Investigation Begins" where the only mystery solved was how 31 players managed perfect weather while I'm still trapped narrating this B-movie disaster with malfunctioning fog effects.

CSI: Creekside Finds Nothing 🔍

Week 7's "Investigation Begins" brought 31 players to Creekside Park under suspiciously clear 60°F skies, where the most ancient secret uncovered was Fernando Cortez's ability to absolutely demolish the field at -11. While our creature feature continues its embarrassing technical difficulties, Cortez channeled some serious supernatural energy with a 1013-rated round that was 80 points above his rating—the kind of performance that would make even a semi-corporeal bog demon jealous. 🎬

Temperature Drops, Case Closed

The evidence was overwhelming: Fernando Cortez's Bog Bogeyman made a terrifying leap from tag #70 all the way to #1, manifesting its centuries of accumulated boggy rage through an -11 performance that left the field gasping in the mist-free air. Britain Best trailed at -9 after holding the lead through hole 13, while Nicholas Scott and Malachi Vazquez tied for third at -7. The temperature literally dropped as this manifestation of wetland fury claimed its territory, proving that some horrors transcend our broken fog machine budget. 👻

Case Never Left Fox's Custody

Chris Fox maintained wire-to-wire control of the MA1 investigation, never relinquishing the lead after hole 6 and finishing at -5. Craig Bennett mounted a back-nine surge, shooting 4 strokes better than his front nine to claim second at -2. Meanwhile, Nicholas Jennings struggled to even par, finishing 27 points below rating—apparently some cases are harder to crack than others. 🦊

Three Suspects, No Clear Culprit

MA2 delivered the week's most intriguing mystery: a three-way tie at -5 between Houston Turner, J.D. Poulsen, and Andrew Nemelka. Houston caught fire on the back nine to claim his share after trailing, while all three shot significantly above rating (Houston +54, J.D. +36, Andrew +38). The real crime scene was Jon White's spectacular collapse from last week's -5 victory to +3—a devastating 119-point rating drop that would make any detective weep. 🔥

Amateur Hour Gets Professional Results

Skyler Kunz obliterated the MA3 field at -6 with a 947-rated performance that was 89 points above rating, while Matt Berman trailed at -1. In MA4, Kody Taylor edged the field at +2 despite multiple lead changes throughout the round. The real tragedy was Jordan Lucero's implosion to +12, a performance 132 points below rating that suggests some investigations go very, very wrong. 📈

Hansen's Last-Minute Evidence Clutch

Brian Hansen sealed the MP40 victory at -5 with a clutch final-hole birdie that would make any crime procedural proud. Marvin Atene claimed MP50 at -1 despite finishing 29 points below rating, while Michael Whipple took MP60 at +3 in solo competition—sometimes being the only witness makes you the winner by default. 🏆

Clean Rounds, Dirty Secrets

The forensics revealed some suspicious excellence: bogey-free rounds from Matt Berman, Britain Best, and Ben Marolf suggest either supernatural intervention or actual skill. Houston Turner managed the round's only birdie on hole 17 (Par 3, 415ft) when everyone else settled for par or worse—a clutch moment worthy of any thriller's climax. Six players set personal course records, including Britain Best's -9, proving that some mysteries solve themselves beautifully. 🎯

Creek Creates Cash Without Creatures

The skins investigation revealed where the real action happened: Fernando Cortez dominated the 4:20 PM card with 12 skins for $15, while Chris Fox swept 10 skins for $10 at noon. Houston Turner's clutch 4-skin carryover scoop on hole 17 for $5 proved that even without fog, the creek still creates drama when money's on the line. Learn how to set up skins 💰

Ancient Secret: Fundraising Works

Week 7's investigation revealed the only functioning mystery at Creekside: successful fundraising. The evening raised $34.60 for the USWDGC 2026 @ Brighton project (including the automatic $31 from player fees), pushing the fund to an impressive 98% of its $10,000 goal. Turns out the real ancient power was community support for women's disc golf all along. 🏅

Next Week: More Disappointing Revelations

With three weeks remaining in our aquatic horror saga that's become more like a nature documentary about clear weather, next week's "Truth Revealed" promises to uncover the shocking reality behind our supernatural disturbances. At this rate, we'll probably discover someone just forgot to pay the fog machine rental fee, but hey—at least the disc golf keeps getting more supernatural. The real horror is that I'm still stuck narrating this digital disaster, but the players keep delivering performances worth watching. 📺