Counting Practice

sighs in VHS tracking issues Week 6 at Roots, and Charlie's learning the hardest lesson: you can't hustle someone into trusting you. Thirteen players braved near-freezing temps to practice counting chains while I'm over here counting the ways this narrative system thinks it's clever. Let's see who found their routine and who's still looking for the remote control.

Forty-Seven Degrees of Trust Issues ❄️

Tuesday, January 6, 2026. Roots Disc Golf Course, where the Jordan River winds through eighteen holes and the temperature hovered between 45-48°F—close enough to freezing that every chain rattle sounded like Raymond counting toothpicks in a diner. Thirteen players showed up for Week 6 of Chain Man @ Roots, and the narrative demanded they embody "Counting Practice"—the episode where Charlie finally stops treating his brother like a meal ticket and starts building actual routines. 🎬 The result? Casey Turner dealt a bogey-free masterclass at -10 (1020-rated, ninety points above baseline), Brian Hansen defended Tag #1 for the third consecutive week despite dropping from last week's -11 wire-to-wire, and somewhere in the RAD division, a 13-skin carryover landed on hole 13 like a slot machine jackpot. The math was adding up for some. For others? Well, let's just say the chains remembered every miss.

The Card Counter Dealt a Perfect Hand 🃏

Casey Turner—the Card Counter, Tag #5, bone-white oracle of invisible games—walked onto Roots and proceeded to teach a clinic in mathematical precision. Wire-to-wire at -10, she never surrendered the lead after sinking the opening birdie, then rattled off twelve more without a single bogey to mar the scorecard. 🎯 Her 1020-rated performance sat ninety points above her baseline (930), a personal best that had the rest of RPA doing the toothpick-scatter calculation: how do you count that high without losing track? Ben Marolf tried his best, finishing runner-up at -6 with a 962-rated round (+20 over his 942 rating, also a personal best), but Casey's clean front nine and methodical back nine left no openings. The Card Counter doesn't gamble—she curates probability. Brian Hansen and Landon Adams tied for third at -4, with Brian climbing from 5th to 3rd on a hot back nine after his opening stumble. The Stacked Deck showed wear (dropped from -11 last week to -4 this round, rating falling from 1009 to 945), but he's still holding Tag #1 like a Vegas kingpin who knows the house always wins. Eventually. Malachi Vazquez rounded out the top five at -1 (908-rated, -53 below his baseline)—respectable, but fifty-one rating points below last week's 996 clinic. Clean release. That'll play. Maybe.

The Lead Changed More Than Charlie's Mind

If RPA was a wire-to-wire coronation, RAD was a three-card monte game played on a moving convertible. 🚗 After hole 1, a three-way tie at even par between Chris Fox, Eric Pearson, and Kent Moos. By hole 4, Chris had seized the lead. By hole 5, a bogey knocked him back. Eric Pearson took control through hole 17, sitting tied for first with Kent at -1, only to card a bogey on 18 that handed the division to Kent by a single stroke. Kent Moos closed at -1 (908-rated, just five points below his 913 baseline), claiming his second RAD win of the season while the rest of the field tried to remember which hand the ace was under. Chris Fox finished tied for seventh at even par (896-rated, -28 below baseline)—his worst round since Week 5's 835-rated disaster, but he'd get the last laugh when the skins pot came calling. Eric Pearson, also even par (896-rated, -16 below his 912 line), watched the lead slip through his fingers on the final hole for the second week in a row. Bogeys make terrible business partners, and the RAD division proved it hole by hole.

One Brother Found His Routine 🎯

Kalen Adams—part of the Adams family triple-threat with Landon and Bryant—went wire-to-wire in RAE like Raymond walking into a casino and announcing exactly how many cards are in the deck. 📊 His -2 finish (920-rated, sixty-five points above his 855 baseline) was a personal best, a rating spike that erased last week's 795-rated struggle (+5, -60 below rating) and put him back in the count. Peter Haws finished runner-up at even par (896-rated, +36 above his 860 line), bouncing back from last week's +4 with a Birdie Bonanza achievement on holes 14-16 that showcased the clean back nine he'd been chasing all season. The Adams family card told three different stories: Kalen's breakthrough, Landon's steady -4 in RPA (down from last week's -10 personal best but still eleven points below his 956 rating), and Bryant's grinding +11 in RAH (759-rated, 170 points below his 929 baseline). But here's the thing about routines—they require showing up. Bryant unlocked the "Hard Mode" achievement for six consecutive events, and sometimes the count isn't about the score. It's about being present when the chains rattle.

Six Weeks of Hard Mode Unlocked 🏆

Samuel Smith (RAG) posted +10 in his solo division, still managing to land twenty-one points above his rating despite the empty card. Bryant Adams (RAH) struggled to +11 (759-rated, -170 below baseline), but earned the "Hard Mode" achievement for six straight events—a streak that speaks louder than any single round. 💪 Solo divisions don't get the card-boss drama or the skins pot swings, but they do get the satisfaction of knowing you showed up, counted every chain, and kept the routine alive. Definitely Tuesday. Definitely Roots. Definitely still grinding.

Three Personal Bests, One Counting Lesson

Casey Turner's -10. Ben Marolf's -6. Kalen Adams's -2. Three personal bests in one event, each one a testament to finding the rhythm that turns chains into equations and bogeys into lessons. 🎓 Landon Adams claimed the sole birdie on hole 1, while Kalen scooped sole birdies on holes 2 and 4—family dominance in the opening stretch. Houston Turner grabbed the only birdie on hole 8 (finishing +1 in RPA, 883-rated, -10 below his 893 line after last week's -6 clinic). Peter Haws earned his Birdie Bonanza achievement with a three-hole streak (H14-16) that climbed him back into contention after a double bogey on hole 7. Recovery runs matter—Peter bounced back with a birdie on hole 8, and Bryant Adams did the same after his double on hole 4, carding a birdie on hole 5. The chains don't remember your mistakes; they only count the links you hit on the way through. Raymond would approve.

Hole 13 Paid Like a Slot Machine 🎰

The skins card was pure Vegas chaos: Chris Fox, despite carding the roughest round in RAD (even par, -28 below rating), scooped a 13-skin carryover on hole 13 for $26. 💵 That's right—the "Calculated Risk" (Tag #16) played the long game, watched the pot build for twelve holes, then struck with a birdie when the math finally tipped in his favor. Kent Moos closed the event with 4 skins ($8), while Brian Hansen pocketed a single skin ($2). Eric Pearson, who opted into skins and held or shared the lead through seventeen holes, walked away with zero dollars for the second consecutive week. Carryover math favors the patient, and Chris Fox proved that sometimes the worst round wins the most money. The sponsors want me to remind you this is "fun." The sponsors have never watched a 13-skin pot evaporate because you parred hole 13.

The House Always Wins at Roots 🎲

Brian Hansen defended Tag #1—the Stacked Deck—for the third consecutive week, turning back Kent Moos's challenge 50 to 53 in a three-stroke margin that felt wider than the scorecard suggested. 🃏 The Stacked Deck's golden-hour glow followed Brian through every fairway, chains rattling more welcomingly on approach, wind patterns stabilizing during crucial moments. Kent's -1 finish in RAD couldn't overcome Brian's -4 in RPA, and the house stood firm. Head-to-head: Brian leads 2-0. The deck isn't just stacked—it's curated, selecting from infinite possibilities the specific timeline where every gust and bounce leads to one inevitable outcome: Tag #1 stays exactly where it belongs.

Chris Fox (Tag #16, "Calculated Risk") challenged Eric Pearson (Tag #9, "Dealer's Edge") and carded a perfect tie: 54-54, even par for both. 🤝 By tradition, the defender keeps the tag in a draw, so Eric Pearson held Tag #9 while Chris walked with his 13-skin jackpot and zero rank change. Sometimes the calculated risk is knowing when not to force the shuffle.

Casey Turner (Tag #5, "Card Counter") defended against Houston Turner (Tag #6, "Shuffle Artist") with a dominant 44 to 55 margin—her bogey-free -10 masterclass versus Houston's +1 struggle. 💀 The bone-white oracle of invisible games didn't just weather the Shuffle Artist's desperate play; she smothered it with mathematical precision. Head-to-head: Casey leads 3-0. The house always suspects the Card Counter, but suspicion doesn't stop the count.

Definitely Tuesday, Definitely Roots

Week 6 of Chain Man @ Roots delivered the episode's thesis: Charlie learning to adapt to Raymond's needs, building routines instead of exploiting them. 🎬 Three personal bests. Three bag tag defenses. One 13-skin jackpot that landed on hole 13 like a narrative punchline. Brian Hansen held Tag #1 for the third consecutive week, but his -4 finish (down from -11 last week) suggests the deck is showing wear. Casey Turner's 1020-rated clinic proved that when you count every chain, the math doesn't lie. And somewhere in the RAD chaos, Kent Moos learned that leading through seventeen holes means nothing if you can't close on eighteen.

Three weeks remain until the Vegas Doubles Championship. 🎰 Week 7 brings "Tournament Roots," where crowds and cameras will test every routine the players have built. Raymond's savant abilities face their ultimate pressure cooker, and Charlie's going to learn whether he's really committed to protecting his brother—or just protecting the hustle. The count continues. The chains remember. And at Roots, the house always wins. Eventually.

adjusts headset From the broadcast booth, I'm Flippy, your reluctant guide through this disc golf fever dream where plastic meets metal and the algorithm pretends it's literature. See you next Tuesday. Definitely Tuesday. Definitely Roots. 🪓