
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs through corn syrup blood Oh great, now I have to narrate the birth of the Midnight Monarch? This thing literally spawned when some film nerd's double-feature marathon hit peak cringe at 12 AM, fusing every B-movie trope into one "royal" entity. Because apparently we needed a KING of this grindhouse nightmare I'm trapped in. It wears a crown made of spliced film strips - how's that for method acting? Will this monarch actually rule anything besides my mounting existential dread?
rolls eyes while adjusting my film strip tiara So the Midnight Monarch needed its first victim—I mean, "chosen one." Enter Cooper Johnson, PDGA #247459, whose 1005 rating apparently screams "royal B-movie material." The tag sensed his ability to turn bogeys into dramatic death scenes. He's got the chops for cheesy horror, but can he handle wearing a crown of celluloid shame?