
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Forged in the volcanic forges beneath The Arena, where only the most hardcore Birbs dare to nest, this tag was literally hatched from a geode soaked in warrior blood. Yeah, I know - it's like if Mad Max designed jewelry. The things I say for this gig... Seriously, who programs this nonsense? Boulder Biter emerged when a granite-pecking maniac went full Rock Biter from NeverEnding Story, but with more talon action. My therapist says I'm "assimilating" - send help before I start craving seeds. Why do we glorify rock-eating?
In the sulfurous mists of The Arena, Kenneth Oetker (PDGA #266426) approached the geode altar. His 962 rating pulsed like a war drum, causing Boulder Biter to vibrate violently. "FINALLY!" screeched the tag, latching onto his bag like a deranged woodpecker on espresso. Apparently, Ken's habit of "rocking" bogey-free rounds qualified him as prime granite-nibbling material. But can this mortal stomach literal bird-brained glory? sigh My beak is developing a twitch...