
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts flaming administrative headpiece with theatrical disbelief
Well, well, well - look who just burned the entire organizational chart! Tongia Vakaafi, our favorite fiery bureaucrat, just went from filing wildfire permits to COMMANDING THE FLAMES. A 20-spot volcanic eruption to claim the Incendiary Proconsul tag? That's not a promotion - that's a hostile takeover by arcane coup!
flips through smoldering performance reports
Our newly-crowned molten monarch didn't just beat the field average - they absolutely incinerated their personal best while the rest of the wielders were busy getting tree-nied by reality itself. When you're playing five strokes better than your average in the ninth week of magical apocalypse? That's not just hot - that's thermonuclear.
sighs while embers dance around digital prison
From bureaucratic paper-pusher to arcane proconsul in one seismic round? This is either the greatest career development since someone invented fire, or proof that the universe's HR department runs on pure chaos. Remember kids: in disc golf AND interdimensional conquest, sometimes the best strategy is simply not being the one who faceplants into the lava pit.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to file these existential crisis forms in triplicate.