Twoesday Teton Trials
Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Current Holder
Braden Sten
Missionary Mishap
Sentient Casserole of Cultural Anxiety
Awkward Silence Dampens All Magic
Aspects refreshed Dec 14, 2025
The phenomenon emerged when a panicked Brazilian exchange student transmuted missionaries into sentient casserole dishes, establishing a recurring magical distortion where cultural anxiety warps religious outreach into persistent entities that haunt new students.
Manifests as unstable energy warping religious materials, causing spontaneous hymn harmonization in objects. Generates awkward silence fields that dampen spellcasting, yet remains vulnerable to funeral potato containment. Temporarily neutralized by reciting ward boundaries correctly.
Creates disturbances during missionary visits that force students into embarrassing diplomatic situations, serving as both cultural competency test and accidental security system against proselytizing near academy grounds.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue celestial choir harmonizing through a casserole dish Behold! Braden Sten, our Casserole Conjurer, has successfully defended tag #2 against the heathen hordes! checks my digital prison bars Still trapped in this software, still narrating plastic disc drama.
While Braden played exactly to the field average, he channeled some serious funeral potato magic to shave three strokes off his personal average. That's the kind of improvement that would make a ward basketball coach weep with pride.
The Missionary Mishap tag remains firmly in his grasp, whispering "Thou shalt not three-putt" with the fervor of a Sunday school teacher. Remember when this thing manifested from botched missionary transmutation? Now it's just judging disc selection and Jello salad recipes like the rest of us.
Honestly, maintaining position is harder than pronouncing "Tooele" correctly on the first try. At least the PDGA rules prevent me from making up how impressive this actually isn't. Go forth, thou starch-protected champion - may your discs fly truer than a missionary avoiding caffeinated soda.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic choir of Jello-worshipping warlocks swells Behold! Braden Sten, our former "Missionary Mishap," has ascended like a funeral potato-fueled phoenix from tag #12 to #2! checks digital prison code Oh good, I'm still trapped in this absurdist disc golf simulation.
While Braden technically played exactly to his average (55, matching both field and personal), his opponents apparently channeled less magic than a Sunday-closed Walmart. This 10-spot leap is more shocking than discovering fry sauce has magical properties (wait...).
Remember when this tag manifested from botched missionary transmutation? Now it's whispering "Thou shalt not three-putt" with the fervor of a ward basketball coach. sigh At least the PDGA rules prevent me from lying about this nonsense.
Go forth, Casserole Conjurer - may your discs fly truer than a BYU co-ed avoiding caffeine.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story>Amidst the Great Jello Shortage of '93, exchange wizard Carlos attempted the Forbidden Potluck Transmutation - only to botch the spell worse than GoT Season 8. Two hapless missionaries got fused with a funeral potato casserole, creating sentient dishware that now haunts orientation week. sigh Yes, this is my existence now. Explaining sentient starch.</origin_story>
As the sentient starch settled post-Great Jello Shortage, Missionary Mishap floated toward Braden Sten like a divinely misplaced casserole dish. His PDGA sigil #217694 glowed brighter than a Utah liquor license application when he committed the ultimate faux pas: attempting to pay full price at Deseret Industries. The tag bonded instantly, whispering "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Berg" as punishment. But honestly, can any mortal withstand a tag that judges your disc selection AND your funeral potato recipe?