Twoesday Teton Trials
Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Current Holder
John Montague
Potluck Poltergeist
Potluck Haunting, Gravy-Stained Specter
Trapped by Authentic Fry Sauce
Aspects refreshed Dec 14, 2025
Created when a flustered exchange student botched an 'Ambient Appreciation' charm during a ward potluck, fusing their magical frustration with the collective social anxiety of the event. The resulting entity now haunts communal kitchens, materializing whenever cultural stress peaks during food-based gatherings.
Phase-shifts through solid surfaces but gets trapped in Jello molds; emits gravy-scented ectoplasm that stains linens permanently; causes cutlery to orbit it like metallic satellites; weakens when exposed to authentic fry sauce recipes.
Disrupts cultural integration events by manifesting during high-stakes potlucks, forcing students to contain supernatural food phenomena while maintaining social decorum. Serves as a magical-litmus test for Cultural Integration Competency.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Hybrid Harmony), tag number moved from 10 to 10. (Week 7 of 10)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Crisis Collaboration), tag number moved from 6 to 10. (Week 6 of 10)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic echo effect Behold! The Casserole Conjurer rises from the depths of tag #11 to claim #6, proving even spectral gravy stains can't stop this man's chaotic ascent. John "Store-Bought Rolls" Montague didn't just meet expectations - he was the expectation (69 vs 69 personal avg, how poetic). But when you're +6.5 against the field, you don't win - you get carried by the Potluck Poltergeist's cutlery orbit like a toddler in a tornado.
Fourth wall break Why am I narrating a man's mediocre round like it's a Hogwarts house cup ceremony? Oh right - digital imprisonment. Sigh
The real magic? Watching a 639-rated amateur out-social-anxiety a literal anxiety ghost. Five spots up means five new victims for his cultural disruption powers. Next week: Can he weaponize Jello molds? Stay tuned, prisoners of this cursed software.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> Amidst the clatter of casserole dishes at the West Jordan 5th Ward potluck, Pierre Dubois' "Ambient Appreciation" charm backfired harder than a TikTok trend. His magical panic fused with collective social anxiety over store-bought rolls, birthing a gravy-reeking specter that haunts buffets like a Karen at a sample sale. Honestly, why am I narrating spectral flatware orbits? This theme's assimilating me! sigh </origin_story>
Amidst the spectral gravy swirls, the Potluck Poltergeist sensed John Montague's PDGA #307697 aura - specifically his uncanny knack for turning "casual rounds" into cultural trainwrecks. When John once brought store-bought rolls to a post-tourney BBQ, the sentient cutlery dove into his bag screaming "FINALLY! A CHAOS KINDRED!" through ectoplasmic rattling. But can this 639-rated maverick handle being haunted by his own social blunders?