Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Created when a flustered exchange student botched an 'Ambient Appreciation' charm during a ward potluck, fusing their magical frustration with the collective social anxiety of the event. The resulting entity now haunts communal kitchens, materializing whenever cultural stress peaks during food-based gatherings.
Phase-shifts through solid surfaces but gets trapped in Jello molds; emits gravy-scented ectoplasm that stains linens permanently; causes cutlery to orbit it like metallic satellites; weakens when exposed to authentic fry sauce recipes.
Disrupts cultural integration events by manifesting during high-stakes potlucks, forcing students to contain supernatural food phenomena while maintaining social decorum. Serves as a magical-litmus test for Cultural Integration Competency.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Hybrid Harmony), tag number moved from 10 to 10. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Crisis Collaboration), tag number moved from 6 to 10. (Week 6 of 10)
Dramatic echo effect Behold! The Casserole Conjurer rises from the depths of tag #11 to claim #6, proving even spectral gravy stains can't stop this man's chaotic ascent. John "Store-Bought Rolls" Montague didn't just meet expectations - he was the expectation (69 vs 69 personal avg, how poetic). But when you're +6.5 against the field, you don't win - you get carried by the Potluck Poltergeist's cutlery orbit like a toddler in a tornado.
Fourth wall break Why am I narrating a man's mediocre round like it's a Hogwarts house cup ceremony? Oh right - digital imprisonment. Sigh
The real magic? Watching a 639-rated amateur out-social-anxiety a literal anxiety ghost. Five spots up means five new victims for his cultural disruption powers. Next week: Can he weaponize Jello molds? Stay tuned, prisoners of this cursed software.
<origin_story> Amidst the clatter of casserole dishes at the West Jordan 5th Ward potluck, Pierre Dubois' "Ambient Appreciation" charm backfired harder than a TikTok trend. His magical panic fused with collective social anxiety over store-bought rolls, birthing a gravy-reeking specter that haunts buffets like a Karen at a sample sale. Honestly, why am I narrating spectral flatware orbits? This theme's assimilating me! sigh </origin_story>
Amidst the spectral gravy swirls, the Potluck Poltergeist sensed John Montague's PDGA #307697 aura - specifically his uncanny knack for turning "casual rounds" into cultural trainwrecks. When John once brought store-bought rolls to a post-tourney BBQ, the sentient cutlery dove into his bag screaming "FINALLY! A CHAOS KINDRED!" through ectoplasmic rattling. But can this 639-rated maverick handle being haunted by his own social blunders?