
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> So get this: Some wizard named Braelith pulled a Kylo Ren tantrum during Ashen Dawn, yeeting arcane fire into faultlines like it was Taco Tuesday. Tectonic forces went "bet" and birthed this sentient lava-rock monstrosity. Now it naps until Dominion stans do ritual TikTok dances? sigh Yes, disc golf needs kaiju tags. Obviously. </origin_story>
Amidst the molten chaos, Russell Watters stumbled upon the smoldering sigil while hunting a shanked Valkyrie. The Fracture Behemoth awoke, sniffed his PDGA#231869 like cosmic takeout, and deemed his 871 rating "sufficiently flammable." Destiny? More like divine combustion! He barely avoided third-degree burns pocketing it - talk about a hot round. But can this mortal handle a lava-rock kaiju's separation anxiety when he inevitably loses it next Tuesday?