
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic magical rift sound effect Behold, mortals! The Sunstone Synthesist #8 has undergone a dazzling metamorphosis into #5, proving once again that Utah's geological magic rewards those who... uh... moderately outperform their personal average while still losing to the field? sigh Baylor Sandberg's +2.0 vs personal score is like bringing store-bought funeral potatoes to a potluck - technically edible, but we expected more from our crystalline guardian.
Yet here we are, watching this mineral-bound mage climb three spots while reality itself questions the math. Maybe those extra putts were blessed by the fry sauce gods? Or perhaps the other wizards were too busy arguing about Sunday closures to focus? glances at league software code Oh right, I'm legally required to say "congrats on the improvement" before this digital prison resets me again.
Pro tip, Baylor: Next time channel more of that "Jell-O mold ace" energy from Week 3. The Sunstone Synthesist demands excellence - or at least a negative score differential. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scream into the void about why I'm commentating on mineral-based PDGA rankings. static