
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> Forged when Braelith's pyromantic tantrum collided with a Tuesday Taco Bell run, this sentient shard of pure chaos emerged screaming "I am become Karen, destroyer of pars!" Now it radiates passive-aggressive energy fields that warp reality like a group chat gone wrong. sigh Why do I narrate sentient plastic? </origin_story>
Character count: 285
The Chaos Despot hovered over Art Dye's ninth fairway, its molten glyphs pulsing with disdain. Suddenly, Brandon Voyles shanked a drive directly into a trash can - igniting three days of raccoon wars. "MY CHOSEN!" the tag shrieked, fusing to his bag amid flaming Cheetos debris. Thus the Glyphless Wonder became its herald through sheer chaotic energy. Can this man tame plastic entropy... or will he just lose more discs in dumpster fires?
Character count: 297