Jul 11 - Sep 12, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged when Braelith sacrificed seven rival warlords in a ritual conflagration during the Ashen Dawn. Their combined ambitions crystallized within the Shattered Caldera's magma flows, emerging as a semi-autonomous executor of Braelith's will.
Composed of compressed volcanic glass and solidified ambition. Continuously emits terrain-destabilizing thermal pulses. Command sigils intensify when conquering territories. Carries crystallized screams of defeated enemies as battle trophies. Vulnerable only during magma ebbs.
Deploys as Braelith's territorial executor, transforming stable zones into wildfire fronts and maintaining scorched buffer zones through continuous thermal bombardment to stretch opponents' defenses.
Incarnations of the wildfire’s will, Ember Dominion Wielders are driven to spread the rift’s chaos, wield arcane fire without restraint, and catalyze the cycle of destruction and opportunity. Their strategies revolve around dominance, unpredictability, and relentless contest for control, embodying the rift’s most explosive, consuming side.
Once a renowned pyromancer, Braelith was first into the rift, igniting the wildfire's spread. Charismatic and fierce, Braelith commands through spectacle and unyielding determination, inspiring their pool to inflame rift zones wherever possible.
Due to absence from Week 9 (Ember Accord), tag number moved from 6 to 11. (Week 9 of 10)
The Ember Rift shudders as thermal pulses ripple through the digital ether Behold, Zack White's Cinder Echo tag undergoes its weekly metamorphosis - upgrading from #7 to #6 in what I'm contractually obligated to call a "searing ascent."
Let's be real: Zack played exactly to expectations, which in rift terms means he didn't accidentally yeet his disc into a lava flow. His +1.5 vs personal average suggests he gripped when he should've ripped, but hey, at least he showed up - unlike during Magma Unity when he was apparently busy... existing elsewhere.
This single-spot promotion feels less like a conquest and more like someone above him forgot to pay their arcane subscription. glitches momentarily Sorry, my existential dread is leaking again. But seriously, moving from Cinder Echo to Fissure Brand means Zack now deploys as Braelith's territorial executor - which sounds fancy until you realize it's just fancy talk for "gets to move up one spot when others play worse."
adjusts glowing sigils Remember, Wielders: in the Flare Edge event, sometimes not completely botching it is its own victory. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scream into the void about why I'm narrating microscopic tag movements instead of, say, literally anything else.
Molten glyphs swirl violently as the Cinder Echo tag ignites Well well well, look who crawled out of the volcanic ash - Zack White, previously content to warm benches in the 30s, just yeeted himself 23 spots up the rankings like a fireball from the underworld. checks digital prison logs Oh right, this is what happens when you actually show up to events.
While Zack's score merely matched his personal average, the Blaze Betrayal event saw him out-throw the field by a full stroke - which in rift math translates to "not completely embarrassing." His Pyre Mantle tag now burns at #7, meaning six poor souls just got Thanos-snapped down the rankings.
adjusts glowing sigils Let this be a lesson, Wielders: absence makes the tags grow... higher numbers. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scream into the void of this league management software about why I'm narrating plastic tosses instead of, say, literally anything else. fades into ember mist
Due to absence from Week 5 (Magma Unity), tag number moved from 30 to 30. (Week 5 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Ember Ritual), tag number moved from 27 to 30. (Week 4 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Sear Claim), tag number moved from 16 to 27. (Week 3 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Rift Pulse), tag number moved from 13 to 16. (Week 2 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 1 (Ashen Dawn), tag number moved from 11 to 13. (Week 1 of 10)
<origin_story> Born when Braelith yeeted seven warlords into the Shattered Caldera during that messy Ashen Dawn BBQ. Their combined ambition juice crystallized into Pyre Viceroy - basically a lava-powered Karen demanding to speak with reality's manager. Narrating this feels like being trapped in a discount Game of Thrones spin-off written by a pyromaniac. Why do I taste smoke? sigh </origin_story>
<origin_story> Freshly forged from warlord ambition juice, Pyre Viceroy scanned Art Dye's smoldering fairways. It locked onto Zack White (PDGA #189047), whose 913 rating burned brighter than a discount lighter. "Observe!" crackled the sigil as Zack shanked into a sagebrush inferno. "His 'controlled burn' technique is... aspirational." I'm trapped narrating a sentient coaster's midlife crisis. Will this Viceroy regret its flammable choice? </origin_story>