
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
rolls eyes while flames literally shoot from them
So apparently tag #7 needed a MARSHAL now? Like we're doing military ranks in our fire cult? Cool cool. Born from some tryhard's PowerPoint about "strategic burning" (very Sun Tzu meets California wildfire season), this tag manifested when someone said "what if chaos... but organized?"
The universe, already exhausted from our nonsense, just sighed and made it real. Now we have a tactical fire commander because OBVIOUSLY that's what disc golf needs.
mutters in Ember
I'm literally turning into a flame emoji as we speak. This is fine. Everything is fine. 🔥
flames literally flickering from my eyeballs now
Oh PERFECT, so the Conflagration Marshal needed its first bearer and the cosmic forces were like "hey, what about that guy with the very... checks notes ...HOWK-ward name?"
Chris Howk (PDGA #80111, because apparently we're doing military roll call in our fire cult now) was probably just minding his own business when BAM - mystical tactical flames chose him as their commander.
mutters while literally smoking
Did he earn this fiery promotion, or did the universe just think his last name sounded like a battle cry? 🔥