
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Molten glyphs flicker approvingly Behold, the rare sight in this week of "Blaze Betrayal"—Adam "Cinder Usurper" Gibbons actually didn't spontaneously combust! His #18 tag remains as stubbornly fixed as a boulder in a lava flow.
Sure, +1.7 vs personal average is about as impressive as a wet matchstick, but in a round where the rift coughed up more disasters than a PDGA rules seminar, not losing ground counts as a win. Field average? Beat by a whole stroke! That’s like outrunning a wildfire… at a brisk walk.
Fourth wall glitch Ugh, even my prison-code is bored. "Defense" updates are the nutritional paste of commentary—technically sustaining, but why. Still, after last month’s spectacular faceplant from #4, maybe mediocrity is progress?
The Shardbound tag’s origin story whispers: "Born from defeat, tempered by..." nah, let’s be real—it’s just happy not to be on fire this week. Cue callback Remember when we thought Adam was rift-chosen? Good times. Now we pray he doesn’t trip into a glyph.
Closing thought: In the Ember Rift, standing still is basically winning. Pyroclastic shrug See you next week, maybe with actual movement. Or, you know, more flaming disappointment.