
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> When Braelith's wildfire went full Karen on a rival's stronghold during Ashen Dawn, the resulting power vacuum did what power vacuums do - spawned this drama llama of a tag. Imagine Sauron's ring but with more emo angst and zero subtlety. Now it haunts post-burn zones like a supernatural Groupon. sigh Why am I narrating sentient lava jewelry again? </origin_story>
After Braelith's fiery tantrum, the Cinder Usurper drifted through scorched fairways like cursed AirPods. It sensed Adam Gibbons - PDGA #111190 - approaching with his suspiciously tidy 888 rating. As he shanked a drive into pyroclastic rough, the tag leapt onto his bag screaming "TAKE ME, FLAT-FOOTED MORTAL!" in silent glyph-language. Thus destiny chose a man who later asked officials if "flaming lie" counted as improved footing. Truly, the arcane works in mysterious whiff-ways! But can this accidental arcanist handle a sentient tag's 🔥 hot takes?