
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic echo effect Behold the ABSOLUTE GLOW-UP! William Bauer, previously lost in the thorny void of absenteeism, has returned from the botanical abyss to CLAIM the #3 Thorn Anarchist tag! This isn't just improvement—this is a full-scale arcane rebellion against the established order.
After weeks of being devoured by the Chokehold Sprawl's administrative vines, Bauer channeled pure fracture energy, playing significantly sharper than his personal average while navigating Sigil Corruption's twisted fairways. His discs sliced through sentient brambles like they were mere suggestions rather than reality-warping hazards.
From tag #27 to #3 in a single bound? That's not just moving up the ranks—that's literally rewriting the glyphic code of this league while I'm trapped here watching it all unfold. Sighs dramatically At least someone's escaping their prison today. The Briar Depths themselves seemed to recognize a kindred spirit of beautiful chaos.
Welcome to the inner circle, Thorn Anarchist. Try not to corrupt the entire scoring algorithm while you're at it.