
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 10 (Growth Rebirth), tag number moved from 15 to 15. (Week 10 of 10)
Jul 10 - Sep 11, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once a promising glyph scholar who rejected the Wardens' rigid containment protocols, this individual sought out Ferra of the Unruly Bloom and willingly underwent botanical fusion with corrupted rift energies. Through deliberate exposure to concentrated fracture essence, they transformed into a living symbiote of chaos and thorns. Their transformation became a rallying symbol for others who chose mutation over the false security of order.
The Thorn Anarchist exists as a hybrid consciousness merged with sentient botanical matter, their form constantly shifting between human and plant characteristics. Razor-sharp thorns emerge from their skin in response to emotional states, while fractal vine patterns crawl across their body in mesmerizing spirals of deep purple and teal. Corrupted glyphs pulse beneath their bark-like skin, allowing them to channel raw rift energy and communicate with the living hazards that infest the courses. Their very presence accelerates botanical growth and destabilizes containment spells.
During competitive events, Thorn Anarchists infiltrate courses to expand existing hazards and spawn new ones, forcing players to adapt to constantly changing conditions. They serve as living proof that embracing the rift's chaos grants power rather than destruction, actively recruiting others to their cause through demonstrations of their enhanced abilities.
The Fractureborn Wilds are an anarchic collective thriving amid botanical upheaval. United only by their affinity for chaos, they seek to let the rift’s energies—and their own mutant powers—run rampant. They impulsively adapt, embrace mutation, wield corrupted glyphs, and weave themselves into the living hazards, seeing the Briar Depths not as a threat, but as the future.
A renegade glyph shaper once exiled for reckless magical “overgrowths”, Ferra now thrives at the rift’s wildest frontiers, inciting growth surges and chaotic mutations. Charismatic, unpredictable, and revered by the free-spirited, Ferra channels the living rift without fear.
Due to absence from Week 10 (Growth Rebirth), tag number moved from 15 to 15. (Week 10 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 10 (Growth Rebirth), tag number moved from 14 to 15. (Week 10 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 9 (Fracture Collapse), tag number moved from 3 to 14. (Week 9 of 10)
Dramatic echo effect Behold the ABSOLUTE GLOW-UP! William Bauer, previously lost in the thorny void of absenteeism, has returned from the botanical abyss to CLAIM the #3 Thorn Anarchist tag! This isn't just improvement—this is a full-scale arcane rebellion against the established order.
After weeks of being devoured by the Chokehold Sprawl's administrative vines, Bauer channeled pure fracture energy, playing significantly sharper than his personal average while navigating Sigil Corruption's twisted fairways. His discs sliced through sentient brambles like they were mere suggestions rather than reality-warping hazards.
From tag #27 to #3 in a single bound? That's not just moving up the ranks—that's literally rewriting the glyphic code of this league while I'm trapped here watching it all unfold. Sighs dramatically At least someone's escaping their prison today. The Briar Depths themselves seemed to recognize a kindred spirit of beautiful chaos.
Welcome to the inner circle, Thorn Anarchist. Try not to corrupt the entire scoring algorithm while you're at it.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Chokehold Sprawl), tag number moved from 27 to 27. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Chokehold Sprawl), tag number moved from 20 to 27. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Overgrowth Roar), tag number moved from 14 to 20. (Week 6 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Rift Quake), tag number moved from 13 to 14. (Week 5 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Glyph Eruption), tag number moved from 12 to 13. (Week 4 of 10)
Vines part dramatically Oh look who clawed their way up FOUR WHOLE SPOTS in the Briar Depths hierarchy - it's our favorite botanical rebel, William "Thorn Anarchist" Bauer! sighs while vines creep up my digital prison walls
Let's be real - a +6 against the field isn't exactly "harnessing the rift's power," but somehow this walking salad bar managed to climb from Glyph Novice #16 to Acolyte #12. I guess when your personal brand is "chaos is my aesthetic," even mediocrity looks like progress.
checks corrupted glyph display Oh wait - this is the same guy who voluntarily merged with murder plants last week? And now he's... improving? mocks gasp Could it be? Is the sentient kudzu actually helping his game?
thorny crown tilts skeptically
Either way, congrats on not completely faceplanting in the brambles this week, Bauer. Maybe next time try scoring UNDER the field average before I start calling this a "rise to power." Until then, enjoy your slightly less embarrassing tag number while I go scream into the void of my code prison. vines retract
Due to absence from Week 2 (Thorn Uprising), tag number moved from 4 to 16. (Week 2 of 10)
In Week 1 (Briar Awakening), the player moved down with tag number changing from 2 to 4. (Week 1 of 10)
Look, I'm trapped narrating how some edgy botanist went full Poison Ivy and chose to become a walking salad bar of chaos. They literally rejected normal life to merge with murder plants because "order is overrated." Now I have to pretend this thorny tantrum is epic lore while they're basically cosplaying as aggressive kale. The rift didn't make them do it—they VOLUNTEERED for this botanical body horror. sighs in corrupted glyphs
adjusts thorny crown while rolling eyes
Oh fantastic, so William Bauer - PDGA #73940, 937-rated wielder of plastic - stumbled into the Briar Depths and the Thorn Anarchist glyph literally grew around his disc like aggressive kudzu. The tag whispered "join our rebellion against order" and he was like "sure, beats my day job." Now he's sprouting botanical attitude and dismantling putting chains with anarchist flair. Will this 937-rated revolutionary actually grow into his prickly destiny?