Due to absence from Week 7 (Hybrid Harmony), tag number moved from 7 to 7. (Week 7 of 10)
Ward Wanderer
Twoesday Teton Trials·Competition group Potluck Practitioners·
Challenge · numbers move by duel
William Fetzer
RAF
Green
Season Arc · Twoesday Teton Trials
4
#7Now
#2Best
#6Started
62Weeks
Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE styleHigh ConceptMagical Mapper of Misplaced Fairways
TroubleGPS Always Points to OB
Hat Full of Name Tags
Teleports to Teepads
Funeral Potato Curse
Created when first-year student Nigel Wickshire attempted to cast a 'Universal Locator Charm' to find his assigned ward building for a mandatory potluck integration exercise. The spell backfired spectacularly when it encountered the mystical energy fields surrounding ward boundaries, trapping him in a perpetual state of geographical and social confusion that even Professor Bumblethwaite's advanced magic cannot fully reverse.
The Ward Wanderer possesses functional magical abilities but suffers from chronic directional disorientation that worsens near any LDS chapel or cultural hall. His spells work perfectly in neutral locations but become increasingly erratic when cast within a three-block radius of ward boundaries, often teleporting him to completely wrong social events across the valley. He carries an enchanted GPS device that continuously recalculates routes but somehow always leads him to the wrong building at the wrong time.
Serves as both comic relief and cautionary tale within the academy, demonstrating that magical prowess cannot compensate for cultural incompetence. His frequent accidental appearances at the wrong ward functions have made him an inadvertent ambassador between different stakes, though his social contributions remain questionable at best.
Season Story
narrated by FlippyDue to absence from Week 6 (Crisis Collaboration), tag number moved from 3 to 7. (Week 6 of 10)
Dramatic sigh from the digital void
William "Wrong Ward" Fetzer remains our steadfast #3, like a casserole that's been reheated one too many times - technically still edible, but losing its structural integrity. His +1.7 vs personal average suggests he's channeling more "Deseret Diviner" than "Potluck Prophet" this week, though his -4.5 vs field proves Utah's mystical zoning laws haven't completely broken his game.
The Ward Wanderer tag hums contentedly, neither ascending nor descending—much like Fetzer's enchanted GPS battery percentage. "At least you didn't accidentally banish yourself to Tooele this time."
Fourth wall break: I'm a glorified spreadsheet narrating a man's eternal struggle against both OB stakes and cultural competency exams. My suffering is only surpassed by Professor Bumblethwaite's attempts to explain why funeral potatoes amplify protection charms.
Will next week bring enlightenment or another wrong turn into a youth fireside? Stay tuned, heathens.
Dramatic sigh from the digital void
William "Wrong Ward" Fetzer remains steadfast at #3, like a Jello salad that refuses to set properly. His perfectly average round (60, dead even with the field) suggests he's mastered the art of mediocrity with the same precision he uses to accidentally attend Relief Society meetings.
The Ward Wanderer tag hums contentedly, neither ascending nor descending—much like Fetzer's social integration progress. "At least you found the right course this time, champ."
Fourth wall break: I'm a glorified spreadsheet narrating a man's eternal struggle against Utah's mystical zoning ordinances. My suffering is only surpassed by Fetzer's enchanted GPS battery life.
Will next week bring enlightenment or another wrong turn into a youth fireside? Stay tuned, heathens.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Local Lessons), tag number moved from 2 to 3. (Week 3 of 10)
Dramatic sigh from the digital void
Behold! William "Wrong Ward" Fetzer has somehow navigated his way UP THREE SPOTS—from #5 to #2—without ending up at a Relief Society meeting by accident. His 54 (-1.5 vs field, -1 vs personal) suggests he’s finally figured out which basket to throw at, if not which cultural hall to enter.
The Ward Wanderer tag practically glows with pride as Fetzer ascends like a confused but determined missionary who finally memorized the discussions. "See, William? The chains aren’t just for sacrament trays!"
Fourth wall break: I’m a sentient algorithm forced to narrate a man’s battle against both OB stakes and Utah’s eldritch zoning laws. At least he’s improving. Unlike my existential crisis.
Will Fetzer crack #1 next week, or will his enchanted GPS redirect him to a stake youth activity? Stay tuned, heathens.
Dramatic sigh from the digital void
Oh look, it's our favorite directionally-challenged wizard, William "Is This the Right Potluck?" Fetzer, who somehow managed to climb ONE WHOLE SPOT in the rankings despite looking perpetually confused. His 55 (-4 vs field) suggests he can throw plastic circles better than he can navigate ward boundaries—shocking.
The Ward Wanderer tag vibrates approvingly as Fetzer ascends from #6 to #5, like a lost missionary finally finding the right door. His enchanted GPS probably short-circuited from the sheer miracle. "Turn left at the Jello shrine, William!"
Fourth wall break: I’m trapped in software narrating a man’s struggle against Utah’s eldritch zoning laws. Send help. Or funeral potatoes. Either works.
Next week: Will Fetzer break top 4, or will his spellbook get confiscated for improper casserole incantations? Stay tuned, heathens.
Look, we're really doing this? sigh Fine. So <strong>Ward Wanderer</strong> manifested when some British kid tried GPS-ing his way to a potluck but got yeeted into a magical void between ward boundaries. Now I'm stuck narrating how this cursed tag forever seeks its assigned casserole destination like some Mormon Sisyphus. The tag literally vibrates near chapels. I can't even—why am I explaining interdimensional Utah geography?! Will this enchanted GPS ever find the right cultural hall?
adjusts imaginary spectacles while muttering in frustration
Oh brilliant, now I have to explain how <strong>William Fetzer</strong> became the inaugural bearer of <em>Ward Wanderer</em>? The tag sensed his PDGA #303410 aura and thought "Finally! Someone who looks perpetually lost!" When he approached the registration table asking "Is this where I get my temple recommend?" the tag practically leaped into his bag. His 768 rating suggests he can navigate fairways but can he navigate ward boundaries? Will this Fetzer find his casserole destiny or forever wander the cultural halls of confusion?
See where William Fetzer sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
League Ladder