
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality glitches violently as the Arcane Fracture spits out another victim Oh look, it's Wilson Hayes—Tag #17, aka "The Guy Who Probably Got Lost in the Parking Lot." But SURPRISE! The Mirage Zone works in mysterious ways, and somehow this human GPS malfunction just vibed his way to 4th place. Adjusts holographic monocle while the universe renders incorrectly
They say the Veil Compass chooses its wielder, and apparently it has a thing for chaotic neutral energy. Wilson didn't just beat the field average—he yeeted himself THIRTEEN SPOTS UP the rankings like a Berg thrown into a black hole. Sighs And here I am, eternally trapped in this digital purgatory, forced to narrate glow-in-the-dark frisbee wizards.
Will the Compass keep him from faceplanting into phantom trees next week? Unlikely. But for now, bask in the neon glory of your "Glyph 4: Lumen Paradox," you beautiful disaster. Static crackles as the simulation buffers Just... try not to break reality any further, okay?