
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
reality glitches violently Oh good, our first contestant in this cosmic joke—Stone Smith, who apparently took "be the rock in the storm" too literally. While reality itself was doing its best Windows 98 crash impression, Stone held firm at rank 11 like a stubborn boulder in a river of chaos.
His score? A perfectly average 51—neither bending reality nor being consumed by it. The field average was 52.1, so he technically outperformed, but let’s be real: in a world where baskets phase in and out of existence, "technically" is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
checks digital prison manifest Oh, right—this is the Phantom Weaver tag, the one that’s supposed to "craft illusions." Hilarious. Stone’s about as illusory as a brick. But hey, maybe that’s the play—be so unshakably real that the Fracture just gives up trying to glitch you.
Prediction: By week 3, he’ll either be the only sane wielder left or the Fracture will yeet him into the shadow realm out of sheer annoyance. Either way, chef’s kiss for commitment to the bit.