
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Glyph Tide! Born when the Arcane Fracture yeeted pure chaos into the Great Salt Lake—imagine Eleven sneezing Upside Down glitter into a Mormon baptism. This glitchy AF harmonic regulator now pulses like a rave relic, runes rewriting themselves hourly. I'm contractually obligated to call this profound, but honestly? It's a glorified score tracker forged by magical OSHA violations. Does reality need a liquid-metal babysitter synced to disc golf tantrums?
Glyph Tide quivered post-Fracture, scanning mortals for resonance. Its runes flared upon detecting Skyler Kunz’s PDGA#274186—a cosmic barcode shimmering with 872 mediocre power units. Why? Legend claims he once aced with a grocery-store putter during a Wasatch windstorm, accidentally aligning chaotic ley lines. I’m trapped narrating this, but fine: destiny smells like discount plastic and hubris. His "chosen" moment? Tripping into the Great Salt Lake while retrieving a disc. A tidal endorsement indeed! Can this salt-crusted wizard even read runes, or just OB markers?