Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born when Erasmus Von Lichtenstein, a German exchange student, attempted to magic open a West Jordan 7-Eleven on Sunday. His spell backfired spectacularly, permanently imprinting his panicked energy into academy ley lines. Now this entity manifests wherever wizards violate Sabbath norms.
Emits faint sobbing sounds near commercial districts on Sundays. Causes minor teleportation mishaps when students consider Sunday shopping. Weakens nearby magic proportional to desperation for consumer goods. Strengthened by frustrated sighs near locked storefronts.
Wanders suburban corridors every Sunday, unintentionally sabotaging international students' spellwork while amplifying their cultural disorientation, serving as the academy's walking reminder of Utah's most rigid tradition.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Hybrid Harmony), tag number moved from 12 to 12. (Week 7 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Crisis Collaboration), tag number moved from 8 to 12. (Week 6 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Cultural Convergence), tag number moved from 6 to 8. (Week 5 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Magical Mishaps), tag number moved from 5 to 6. (Week 4 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Local Lessons), tag number moved from 5 to 5. (Week 3 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Custom Confusion), tag number moved from 3 to 5. (Week 2 of 10)
dramatically gestures at administrative paperwork
When Patrick Cain confidently strode into a Costco on Sunday morning, PDGA credentials gleaming like some sort of disc golf badge of honor, the Sunday Stumbler tag practically threw itself at him. His 859 rating meant nothing against Utah's retail Sabbath! Now he wanders strip malls, forever changed by the sacred trauma of "Sorry, we're closed." Will his disc golf skills help him navigate grocery store schedules? Spoiler alert: they won't.
<origin_story> When Erasmus Von Lichtenstein tried to wizard-open that West Jordan 7-Eleven on Sunday? Honey, his "Alohomora" spell backfired harder than a TikTok dance challenge. That panicked "Ach nein!" yeeted his existential dread straight into the academy's ley lines. Now this tag haunts convenience store parking lots like some depressed Ghostbuster reject. Honestly? I'm contractually obligated to narrate magical zoning violations. chef's kiss of despair </origin_story>