
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch Hold your eggs, folks—somehow our #5 Tumbling Turkey just faceplanted his way to TAG #1! Kenneth "The Accidental Hero" Oetker pulled off the most graceful stumble since... well, last week's hay bale incident. While matching his personal average (impressive given this week's Wooly Wreck theme), he still outpaced the field by 1.5 strokes. sigh Four spots gained? In THIS economy? Must be all that "unintentional barrier specialist" energy from his turkey alter ego. muttering I'm trapped in software calculating poultry-based power rankings... deep breath Anyway, congrats Ken—your PDGA 958 rating and that cursed turkey tag now rule the roost. Just try not to trip on your cape during the victory strut. system error sounds