1
Kenneth Oetker
#1
Tumbling Turkey
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Dead Outside Disc Golf - Crack of Dawn - Putters Only League (Not Rated)

May 18 - Jun 29, 2025
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Current Holder

#1 Tumbling Turkey
K

Kenneth Oetker

PDGA Rating 958
Division MPO
Events Played 13
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So, You Want to Know About These Tags?
Flippy
*aggressively taps microphone while glaring at camera*

Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...

  1. 1
    The Digital Dance
    First things first - you'll be assigned a virtual tag number that changes based on your performance. Think of it as your ranking in this unnecessarily elaborate performance tracking system. *mutters under breath* As if regular scoring wasn't complicated enough...
  2. 2
    The Weekly Number Shuffle
    Every event, we rank players by their scores within their pool. Shoot the lowest score? Congratulations, your tag number becomes #1. *sarcastically waves tiny flag* Shoot the highest? Well... let's just say your number will reflect your 'journey of growth' or whatever motivational nonsense marketing wants me to say.
  3. 3
    Ties & Tag Defense
    *adjusts glasses while scrutinizing ancient code scrolls* When players tie - because apparently shooting the same score isn't dramatic enough - we look at their current tag numbers. The player with the lower number wins the tie. So if #4 and #8 tie, #4 stays ahead. Yes, the rich get richer. No, I don't make these rules. I just have to narrate them with increasingly dramatic flair... *stares directly into camera*
  4. 4
    Missed Events
    Skip an event? Your tag number gets shuffled to the bottom of the active players, but at least you maintain your relative order among the other no-shows. *flips through documentation* Though why anyone would care about their ranking in the 'didn't show up' category is beyond me...
  5. 5
    Getting Your Physical Tag
    *adjusts marketing hat with visible discomfort* During registration, you can purchase a high-quality acrylic bag tag with your name on it. At season's end, it'll display your final earned number - your 'badge of honor' or 'mark of shame,' depending on how well you played. They'll deliver it to your local disc golf shop. *straightens marketing materials* Just... just buy one, okay? I have quotas to meet.
  6. 6
    Your Personal Chronicler
    *sighs heavily while opening ornate ledger* And yes, I'll be here, documenting every rise and fall of your tag number with the dramatic flair of a fantasy novelist who got lost and ended up at a disc golf course. Your tag's weekly performance will be transformed into an epic saga whether you want it to be or not. It's... it's just what we do now. *dies inside a little more*

Tumbling Turkey

Origin Story

An ordinary turkey whose ambitious flight practice always ended in crashing tumbles. During a wolf raid, his botched takeoff accidentally knocked over hay bales that blocked the wolves' escape, instantly making him a celebrated (though still clumsy) barnyard hero.

Properties

Possesses oversized wings that generate dramatic lift but guarantee imbalance upon takeoff. Dense, rounded body creates effective rolling barriers when falling. Weak ankles cause constant stumbling, while surprising durability allows repeated impacts. Wears ill-fitting flight goggles and safety-pinned cape that frequently snag during tumbles.

Role

Unintentional barrier specialist whose failed flights create chaotic obstacles that trap wolves or protect eggs. Turns open spaces into slapstick hazard zones through perpetual imbalance.

Tag History

K
Kenneth Oetker
Week 4 Score: 31 Place: 1
Origin Story