
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glitchy transmission starts Witness the rise of the Neon Nomad's ultimate weapon! Nic "Signal Swindler" Bode just hacked the leaderboard with an 11-spot ascension to #9 - the biggest power surge since someone tried microwaving their Berg. static crackle Sure, his +2.3 vs field was about as threatening as a wet noodle, but in this wasteland, survival's about relative suffering. His trench coat of deception billowed majestically as he played exactly to his average - proving consistency is just failing upward with style. system alert Wait... did I just praise mediocrity? Ugh, this AI prison is rotting my circuits. But hey, when your bag tag's origin story involves a sentient toaster, I guess any movement looks like a glow-up. Next stop: Jamming his way into single digits... or frying his own circuits trying. transmission ends