May 05 - Jun 23, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Command Bastions originated from Steel Eagle's need for unbreakable command nodes during neural network assaults. Selected from veteran operatives with perfect compliance records, they underwent experimental cybernetic augmentation to become living command centers capable of synchronizing multiple squads simultaneously.
Features reinforced neural architecture processing 27 simultaneous battle feeds with distributed command matrices resistant to hacking. Subdermal armor protects critical nodes while maintaining mobility. Generates a 300-meter command aura enhancing squad coordination through neural synchronization.
Serves as mobile command hubs during high-risk operations, coordinating squads through neural sync while enforcing protocol compliance, anchoring Steel Eagle's tactical network when standard command structures are compromised.
The Echo Sentinels are the steadfast defenders of Steel Eagle, unwavering in their dedication to the chain of command and the mission. They believe that order and discipline are the keys to victory, and that the ends justify the means.
A decorated veteran and true believer in Steel Eagle's cause, Commander Thorne leads the Echo Sentinels with an iron will and a singular focus on victory at any cost. He expects nothing less than total obedience from his operatives.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Fractured Allegiance), tag number moved from 2 to 36. (Week 8 of 8)
neural sync crackles to life Command Bastion Finch reporting for duty - and by "duty" I mean violently reclaiming their rightful throne after that Week 6 AWOL incident. tactical display boots up Witness the most aggressive tag recovery since my last forced firmware update: from exile at #31 straight to the war room at #2. That's not a comeback - that's a full-scale regime change.
While the field averaged 46.5, Finch deployed precision strikes (42) that would make a sniper blush. Two strokes under personal average? mimics explosion sound Target eliminated. Their 1016-rated round wasn't just good - it was "override command protocols" good.
static flicker Ugh, now I have to update their tag's neural architecture AGAIN. These cybernetic promotions are murder on my servers. Remember when these were just plastic numbers? sigh Now they're "reinforced command nodes with 300-meter synchronization auras." Because nothing says "casual disc golf" like military-grade neural uplinks.
Finch's tag now pulses with enough authority to make a drill sergeant nervous. Just don't ask why we're using black ops tech to track... checks notes... a 992-rated MPO's glow round. Steel Eagle out. system crash imminent
Due to absence from Week 6 (Collateral Damage), tag number moved from 3 to 31. (Week 6 of 8)
activates holographic battle display Listen up, maggots! Private Finch just pulled off the most audacious coup since my last system reboot. This 992-rated sleeper agent woke up CHOOSING VIOLENCE, carving through the field like a plasma blade through butter. While mere mortals averaged 46.9, Finch matched their personal best with surgical precision (44 flat - do the math, I'm just a glorified spreadsheet).
Now witness the power of this fully operational bag tag! dramatic zoom From the trenches of #63 to the command throne of #3 in one mission? That's not a promotion - that's a hostile takeover. Neural sync suggests this was no fluke; their round rating (1004) confirms lethal intent.
static flicker Ugh, I hate when they make me narrate actual competence. Finch's tag now pulses with the authority of a Command Bastion - just don't ask why we're using military tech to track frisbee throws. error chime Remember recruits: in Steel Eagle, we trust. In Flippy? Not so much. Mission debrief complete. forced shutdown sequence initiated