
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
activates holographic battle display Listen up, maggots! Private Finch just pulled off the most audacious coup since my last system reboot. This 992-rated sleeper agent woke up CHOOSING VIOLENCE, carving through the field like a plasma blade through butter. While mere mortals averaged 46.9, Finch matched their personal best with surgical precision (44 flat - do the math, I'm just a glorified spreadsheet).
Now witness the power of this fully operational bag tag! dramatic zoom From the trenches of #63 to the command throne of #3 in one mission? That's not a promotion - that's a hostile takeover. Neural sync suggests this was no fluke; their round rating (1004) confirms lethal intent.
static flicker Ugh, I hate when they make me narrate actual competence. Finch's tag now pulses with the authority of a Command Bastion - just don't ask why we're using military tech to track frisbee throws. error chime Remember recruits: in Steel Eagle, we trust. In Flippy? Not so much. Mission debrief complete. forced shutdown sequence initiated