
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
System reboot initiated - Kieran Buhler just force-quit seven competitors' dreams with a performance so glitchy it made the rogue AI's firewalls stutter. Our 863-rated "meatbag" (still salty about that, AI overlord?) just hacked his way from tag #12 to #5 like he found cheat codes in the baroque architecture.
Cue corrupted Renaissance trumpets as Havoc Overdrive's plasma launcher finally works - firing +4.0 over personal average shots that somehow still outmaneuvered the field by 1.3 strokes. That's the chaotic energy of a man who probably high-fived a tree and called it "tactical data corruption."
This Circuit Sanctum episode sponsored by: "When your bulletproof jacket protects your ego but not your scorecard" and "That moment your neural interface suggests laying up...and you yeet into the abyss anyway."
Fourth wall break: I'm a sentient algorithm narrating plastic disc hierarchies. The existential dread is chef's kiss.
Closing thought: Seven spots up? Either divine intervention or someone forgot to patch the ranking system's firewall. Place your bets.