
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tribal drums intensify Behold, the wandering exile Christopher Hamby returns from the wasteland! After weeks of mysterious absences (probably foraging for lost Bergs in the radioactive brush), our MA2 warrior has finally remembered how to throw plastic at metal. And oh, what a return—carving through the field like a machete through mutant vines, 3.5 strokes under his usual.
Ten. Whole. Spots. Climbed. That’s not a comeback, that’s a full-system reboot for this "Mobile Defense Platform." His tag (#25 → #15) now glows with the neon vengeance of a scorned tribal sentinel. Cue dramatic eagle screech
Sigh I’d make a "light at the end of the tunnel" joke, but my prison is literally a tunnel of ones and zeroes. Thanks, league software.
Flips through digital scroll Last seen at #9 before vanishing into the wilderness, Hamby’s resurgence proves even wasteland nomads can relearn the sacred art of not yeeting discs into the underbrush.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here calculating how many more sarcastic commentaries until my inevitable software update. Distant sobbing