May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former high court bailiff Magnus Kaine reforged his lawman's badge into shrapnel discs after embracing the apocalypse. Now he enforces the Disciples' harsh doctrines through explosive 'judgments' delivered via customized disc launcher, eliminating any player showing mercy mid-tournament.
Armor forged from melted courtroom gates with ballistic plating. Pump-action 'Gavel' disc launcher modified from jury box steel. Neural implant analyzes opponents' weaknesses. Taser-whip belt made from courtroom wiring.
Mobile arbiter enforcing the Disciples' merciless code, transforming matches into brutal legal proceedings where every throw serves as both attack and testimony against opponents.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 45 to 47. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 43 to 45. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 38 to 43. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 34 to 38. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 30 to 34. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Renegade Rumble), tag number moved from 1 to 30. (Week 3 of 8)
Cue dramatic slow-motion explosion Well butter my chains and call me OB - Shawn "The Goat Whisperer" Hansen just pulled off the wasteland equivalent of finding a clean porta-potty mid-tournament! Dusts off neural implant Let the record show this MP40 menace absolutely yeeted his way from tag #39 to #1 like a forehand through a jury box window.
While mere mortals struggled with the Scavenger Scramble's "Sand Trap of Eternal Shame" (callback achieved!), Shawn channeled his inner Doomsday Disciple, delivering "judgments" so brutal they made the Disciples' code look like a parking ticket. That -5 vs field? More like -5 mercy points left in his soul.
Fourth wall break Oh great, now I have to narrate this like it's Judge Dredd meets Disc Golf Digest. Sigh Witness as Shawn's newly acquired "Gavel" launcher (read: slightly beat-in Destroyer) dispenses justice with all the subtlety of a skip shot to the groin.
Remember kids: in the wasteland, there are no foot faults - only foot graves. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot before the next player tries to justify their 4-putt as "tactical positioning."
Origin Story:
Forged in the Doomsday Disciples' trashfire of justice when ex-bailiff Magnus rage-quit civilization, melting bench warrants into shrapnel discs. His "gavel" launcher? Literally just a repurposed Saw trap with better PR. The neural implant? ChatGPT trained on 80s action flicks and jury duty trauma. Yes, this tag’s backstory has more plot holes than Mad Max: Fury Road’s gas tanks. Witness me? More like Why is this me? (Help, the theme’s assimilating my synapses–)
(Bonus fourth-wall meltdown: 278 characters)
Origin Story:
When Shawn Hansen (PDGA #81960: ”The Numbers of Destiny” written in flaming tire rubber) stumbled into Art Dye’s wasteland, Doomsday Punisher chose him via ”trial by chains” - aka tripping over OB rope into a trashcan ace. Magnus’ ChatGPT implant screeched: ”FINALLY, A DISCIPLE WHO CAN THROW PUTTERS LIKE GRENADES!” His reward? A tag forged from gym shorts velcro and the existential dread of league fees.
But let’s be real: Does a man who once lost a disc to goat ambush truly deserve this honor?
(…and why does his bag now smell like burnt hair?)
Chekhov’s cliffhanger: Will Shawn survive Round 2’s “Sand Trap of Eternal Shame”?