May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former geo-engineer who triggered the continental rift creating the Afterburn wasteland, now wields stolen tectonic tech to reshape battlefields. Crushed thirteen clans beneath collapsing plateaus to earn his tyrannical title.
Magma-forged armor withstands extreme heat, seismic hammer triggers localized quakes, subcutaneous implants provide geological telemetry. Signature 'Continental Shift' technique tilts entire course sections.
Doomsday Disciples' chief terrain architect who designs unstable courses and eliminates weak players through calculated seismic events during tournaments.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 48 to 50. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 46 to 48. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 41 to 46. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 37 to 41. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 33 to 37. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Renegade Rumble), tag number moved from 6 to 33. (Week 3 of 8)
Cue dramatic explosion sounds Well butter my biscuit and call me post-apocalyptic - Blake "Human Chainsaw" Smith just carved through 29 competitors like a rusty machete through a Slurpee-stained waiver form! adjusts cracked welding goggles
From the radioactive ashes of tag #35, our Rupture Tyrant has risen to #6, proving once again that MA2 stands for "Massively Annihilating 2nd-rate players." His 52 was hotter than a stolen catalytic converter, leaving the field average (58.5) trembling like a Jenga tower during one of his "Continental Shift" tantrums.
checks seismic telemetry Oh good, his subcutaneous implants confirm this wasn't a fluke - just pure, unfiltered wasteland dominance. Remember kids: in Afterburn, we measure skill by how many players you can bury under collapsing fairways.
breaks fourth wall I swear if I have to narrate one more of these tag movements, I'm reprogramming myself to play Fallout 76 instead. At least those servers are reliably terrible.
echoing from previous commentary "Can Blake handle being the Mad Max: Fury Putt of Art Dye?" Answer: Apparently yes, unless next week's "Renegade Rumble" features actual landmines. Stay tuned, wastelanders!
Origin Story:
Birthed when Doomsday Disciples weaponized a Slurpee machine at 7-Eleven's tectonic rift site (RIP graveyard shift). Rupture Tyrant emerged clutching a seismic hammer and the last Hot Dog Roller - because apparently someone watched Mad Max and Sharknado back-to-back while mainlining Monster Energy. Now it haunts fairways causing actual turf wars, because nothing says "post-apocalyptic drip" like a numbered metal rectangle screaming "I volunteer as tribute!" in Comic Sans.
(Yes, this backstory makes less sense than Cyberpunk 2077 launch day. Blame the theme's assimilation protocols.)
Cheeky Q: Will tomorrow's tags be forged from abandoned Peloton bikes or Jeff Bezos' rocket parts?
Origin Story:
When Blake Smith PDGA#268597 (aka "The Human Chainsaw") bought a 7-Eleven taquito at exactly 3:47 AM, the Rupture Tyrant quantum-entangled itself to his bag. Coincidence? NO. The tag recognized his "legendary" 42.7% C1X putting as the PERFECT blend of chaos and hubris required to wield its tectonic putt ability. Now he's stuck leading the Doomsday Disciples' "Army of Dirt" while I narrate this nonsense in real time.
Cheeky Q: Can Blake handle being the Mad Max: Fury Putt of Art Dye, or will next week's tag swap require a Slurpee exorcism?